


For Hearth and Home

by Viviena



Category: Kingsglaive: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, Canon Compliant, M/M, Post-Canon, Serious Injuries, Slow Burn, Swearing, Titus is not evil, Trust Issues, and not in others, he's morally ambiguous, in some parts, might get too graphic, reluctant allies, very slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-08-13 00:24:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 24,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7954894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Viviena/pseuds/Viviena
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nyx is waiting for death, but it doesn't come neither for him, nor for his commander.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Kingsglaive was a very sudden passion of mine, since I haven't played a single FF game and know very little about the lore and stuff. It may or may not become something big, I'm mostly writing it for my flatmate. ^^'

He should have been in a terrible pain. That surge of raw power from the ring helped, but it's not like the damage from two hollow-points or his knee for that matter were completely healed. Not to say about his left arm that was practically burned to cinders. The roaring pain was there somewhere within, but distant and muffled to the point of easily ignored dull ache. Whether it was a courtesy of the Old Kings or a simple body shock he was grateful for the chance to go with dignity and peace, not a delirious agonizing cripple. He fought hard, saved the princess, was deemed worthy to be granted a kingly favor and all in all it was not a bad way to go. 

Nyx leaned on a piece of rubble and sighed, closing his eyes against the beams of a rising sun. It was a decent life and good enough end. He did his best and he was finally allowed to stop. He had no regrets. Nyx opened his eyes and starred into the clear dawning sky. 

Except that he had. A lot. 

Crowe was murdered by a fellow Glaive. Libertus went rogue. The Kingsglaive gone, half of them traitors. Insomnia left defenseless, Lucis open for taking without the crystal, without the King. And commander Drautos... Nyx had many regrets in fact. It all went from somewhat depressing to a total defeat almost overnight. Was he not alert enough? Had he missed the signs? Such a treason must have been prepared for a long time. Was there a chance to change anything if he acted differently at some point? Listened carefully to Luche, obeyed the orders and stayed on his post in the Citadel? Same question all his life. Could he have saved them if he tried harder? 

_Help... help, brother..._

Nyx shook his head to get rid of the familiar voice. The sun was rising but his heart seemed to be filling with shadows. He was not done yet. He still had so much work to do. Help Lunafreya find prince Noctis, keep them safe, get back their land. The hollowing feeling inside him was spreading, replacing previous serenity, despite his best attempts to cling to it. It was not a fear of death but the feeling of overwhelming lack of completion. The princess might have said his destiny was not fulfilled yet. So much for being an oracle. He still had to sit there helplessly watching the ascendence of the sun, waiting to burst in flames. Again. Or however his end was about to come. 

The Old Kings sure had a wide definition of the word sunrise. 

It wasn't noon or anything, but the sun has already risen quite a bit. 

"If it's all the same to you, any time now" Nyx muttered, not sure if they were even listening. 

Regrets were creeping around and jumping at him like a pack of hungry wolves. He wanted to see Galahd for one last time. He promised king Regis to deliver the princess to Altissia. He really hoped to die before this thoughts could strengthen and burden him on his final journey, make him wish for more. Also the blessed veil of numbness seemed to somewhat dissipate. The feeling in his body coming back and bringing pain with it. 

Nyx looked around, everything was covered in rubble and bathed in sunlight. 

"First light of sun, my ass" he gritted, half hoping to annoy the Old Kings enough to speed up the killing process. 

The only answer he has got, was a pained wet cough from somewhere behind. 

So he was not the only one stuck on the doorstep of death, eager but forfeit from entering that realm. Something was causing the delay. 

Could it be, they meant the next sunrise? His mind was a bit foggy about the exact wording the great deities have used, safe from them constantly calling him mortal and insulting his moral capabilities. First light, was it? The sunrise of the next day? Well technically it was still the previous day and the next was yet to come. 

It was a useless task, trying to guess the workings of powers he had no understanding of, but he was not about to lie around if there was still one whole day to struggle through. 

Cringing Nyx has stumbled on his feet, yeah, the blessed numbness was going fast.

Commander Drautos was exactly as he left him an hour or so ago, when they stopped their strenuous fight. Sprawled on the pavement, half-covered with his enormous armor. Still breathing, the stubborn bastard, Nyx thought without malice, with something bordering on incredulous amusement. 

The man has coughed again, blood gurgling in his throat and bubbling on his lips, as his face scrunched up in obvious pain. Nyx moved before the idea of doing so registered in his mind. But even when it did, he haven't paused in his approach. He sincerely doubted, that Old Kings approved of helping general Glauca. But fuck them anyway, he was helping his commander instead. Not as if anyone could punish him more than they were about to anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, every comment and kudos is a joy! There is a [tag](http://vivicogitator.tumblr.com/tagged/for-hearth-and-home) on my tmblr dedicated to this fic and questions about it, come say hi anytime!


	2. Chapter 2

Commander Drautos was a formidable man even without that gargantuan armor, with it he looked decidedly unmovable. But he clearly experienced troubles breathing and Nyx has always considered choking on your own blood to be one of the shittiest ways to die. 

It took a notable effort, but he has managed to lift the man in a mostly sitting position. Nyx took a step away and exhaled. The strain required for the motion seemed to awaken his pain even further. He leaned heavily on a piece of debris, that seemed to be a part of a balustrade only yesterday. Or maybe of a balcony, it was hard to say. Everywhere in their vicinity were stone and concrete parts of something with rebars sticking out like broken bones. For the first time Nyx looked properly around and found that at least this part of Insomnia was thoroughly ruined. 

He usually had little care about the buildings when people were at stake. But even if it was just a few blocks (and he really hoped it was) that took the major damage from the battle, to see the capital without a shield, buried under debris and ruins, left him in bitter astonishment and unsettling familiarity. What chance they had in winning the war, if even this place was not kept safe after all. 

Commander wheezed and more blood tricked down his chin. He surely had a lung pierced at least in one place. 

Nyx distinctly remembered aiming for his heart, but he had obviously missed. He wondered for a second if his exhaustion at the end of their fight was to blame. He was very sure his hand did not waver on purpose. The echo of that rage came back to him in conjunction with the pain. He was not even sure which one provided that piercing sensation in his gut, leaving him grinding his teeth and sinking on the nearest pile of rubble. 

"Why?" he choked out and barely recognized his own voice. It did not matter if he had asked already, the question still spun in his head on a loop. Why, why, why the fuck why. He had to ask again; had to get an answer if that was the last thing he did. He would keep asking even if he wasn't sure commander was even conscious. 

He was. The half of the face not obscured with the armor grimaced, as he opened his eye. 

"I've told you," he said, sounding tired and indifferent, with his normal voice, not distorted by the helmet anymore. "You wouldn't understand, if you haven't already." 

"I don't get it. I remember those times, dozens of times, when you commanded retreat and we were so pissed! Even if it was the only way to keep us alive. How... how could it all be just lies?" 

Commander gave him the look and Nyx felt nauseous because of how familiar he was with that Ulric-you-are-getting-on-my-nerves look. It clashed so hard with this current reality, it made him want to scream in frustration.

After a long pause Drautos exhaled and looked behind Nyx with an undecipherable expression. Looking back, Nyx realized, that he was trailing the flying ashes with his eyes. With a sickening recognition Nyx followed the particles of his own smouldering flesh. His left hand was still mostly numb, unlike the throbbing insides and for some reason that was even worse. 

"Not all. Mostly truth, actually," commander finally said, weary but apparently resigned to have a conversation. 

"But when? What made you? You lost you family? Children? What?" questions spilled out of Nyx in a torrent, almost choking him on their way out. Was he too naive to feel entitled to claim something like "You didn't do it for a personal gain." 

The thought alone was so beyond perceivable, he refused to acknowledge it. He could not imagine the reason for such a betrayal to be money or position or anything that trivial. 

"Don't be stupid," Drautos scoffed. "No. I have my sob story same as you and everyone else. It doesn't matter if..." a sudden fit of coughing interrupted him, forcing more blood out of his mouth. 

"What are you dying for, then?" Nyx asked, wishing he could sound accusing, but his voice turned out as confused as he felt. 

"Future for my people, what else really matters?" Drautos answered impassively. 

How truly stupid it was, that they both fought for the same cause then, if it was true. 

"But when? When did it start?" Nyx was nowhere near done with questions. 

"Does it matter?" 

"Yes, it matters to me!" 

"Well it seems that we are done here, so you'll have to deal with it," Drautos answered, obviously loosing the interest in explaining any further. 

Nyx opened his mouth to argue but the next spasm of pain in his stomach was so much stronger than any of the previous one's, that it left him momentally disoriented and breathless. And there were first licks of true agony all along his burned arm too. 

Huh, maybe that's what they meant about the death with the dawn. Eventual end of the delay for the pain he was supposed to feel all this time. That was actually a bit more fair. He was living on a borrowed time and that loan had overdue payment hours ago. To die of pain was not his preferred way to go, but it meant he still had a bit of time. He could get at least some answers. 

"I want to understand, you owe me as much!" Nyx insisted. It was one of his biggest regrets, if he died not really understanding. 

"You're probably right, I do. One more proof, that we don't always get what we deserve," Drautos said with a faint smirk. "There is no higher justice, look at you dying for them, for what?" 

Commander managed to turn and look around, with a bitter curve to his mouth. "City in ruins, they probably killed more people, than they tried to protect. This family surely is constant in their misguidance."

The sun was shining brightly now, illuminating the ruin. Some places were still on fire, some had thick black smoke billowing from under the rubble. Nyx tried to reason with himself that this district was mostly used for office buildings and that empire forces were about to cause even more devastation with that daemon creature. But there was no way there weren't civilian casualties this night. A lot of them. He could hear some distant repetitive cries, most likely from the rescue teams looking for survivals in the wreckage. 

"But what about loyalty? You of all people told us so many times..."

"For hearth and home. As long as I breath, yes," commander huffed and gave him a wry look. 

It took Nyx a moment to recognize his own words thrown back at him. He disobeyed the order because there was something more important to him at that moment. But that was not the same, was it? He was not deceiving anyone, nor was he stabbing his friends in the back, or betraying the king he has sworn to protect. 

"So what, you have no regrets about anything?"

Commander gave him a long direct stare before answering, still not looking away. 

"I have. A lot of regrets," the words seemed to carry on the weight behind them. "But I would have done it all over again." 

Nyx felt more pain busting through him but those clipped furious words overwhelmed him more. Commander Drautos was not done yet. As much as he refused to talk at first, now his speech was almost fervent. 

"What is loyalty, if serving this king I'm abandoning my people behind the wall? Protect the kingdom, protect the capital, protect the people, protect the king and his heir! You are a traitor any way, in best case you get to choose who to protect, but you are a traitor nevertheless. We can choose our allegiances if we can choose anything at all," he finished ruefully. "You know how they treat us here." 

Nyx couldn't argue with that one, but it was so not all of the truth. 

"They also took us in, gave us place to belong again! Gave us power!" he said, feeling a pang of regret, quickly followed by fury, remembering the death of King Regis. 

"Only to serve them!" Drautos snarled back. 

"Do you really believe that the Empire will give us what? Our lands back? Freedom?" 

"Yes. Why wouldn't they? Besides, their victory gives us peace. Future. It's up to the people how they use it. I gave them everything I could."

More calls from the rescue teams were heard, followed quickly by gunshots and sounds of fighting. Probably imperial patrol. Nyx struggled up on his feet but he was really in no shape to go fighting even if they were about to get surrounded. 

"Well I doubt they will thank you, when they find out who you were all this time," he said with an unwelcome crack in his voice. "You were a hero. So many immigrants from behind the wall aspired to be like you, an evidence that even an outsider can get so high on their own merit. What about them?" Nyx demanded. 

For the fist time the shadow passed through commander's features. Nyx wanted to gloat but all he could manage was to shake his head in disbelieve. 

The shouts were getting closer but there were no gunshots anymore. From the sound of it the citizens of Insomnia have gotten one of their last victories over the invading army. 

"That got to you, really? Your reputation?" Nyx asked incredulous. 

Commander Drautos was now trying to stand up with very little success. 

"Fuck the reputation," he snapped, but after a couple more unsuccessful attempts to move, he elaborated. "They have already seen Libertus and other Glaives being part of this and called traitors..." 

"You fucking leave Libertus out of your..." Nyx growled. But commander just waved him off. 

"Shut it. That's not what I'm talking about. They already don't like immigrants and now they have the proof we are mad dogs," he snarled, not actually disproving the point. "If they figure commander Drautos being a ringleader, they will start a manhunt. An immigrant would never be given any position again and the mob... they can take out the revenge for their defeat on anyone." 

Nyx took a moment to wonder how strange it was, that from the wording he seemed to almost dissociate himself from the identity of the Glaive's leader. 

"Yeah, that's what called consequences of your actions. Maybe you should have considered them before." 

"I was supposed to either win or die being Glauca," commander refuted, as if it was an actual normal thing to say. 

"That's... You can just remove the armor," Nyx suggested, lost for other words at the moment.

"I can't, it's... healing me. I wouldn't be able to even if I try, until I'm still in critical condition."

He did look much better than at the start of their talk, when he could barely breath without spitting blood everywhere. 

Nyx pondered for a second how his death was actually useless if general Glauca had survived the encounter, but couldn't bring himself to really wish Titus Drautos dead even now. 

Commander Drautos tried to get up once again and failed miserably. 

"You should kill me," he said after a moment of thought, between fast heavy exhales. "The armor would dissolve than, probably." 

"What? No!" 

"You had no problem stabbing me before."

"It's not the same. I'm not killing already wounded person."

"I would probably heal, you know," Drautos said after a pause and looked up again with that stare of his. 

"They will find you before that," Nyx couldn't help but point out. He could already hear actual words the rescuers were shouting. 

"So finish it right now!"

"No." 

"That's an order." 

"Fuck you." 

"It doesn't matter if you don't want to kill me, you know that's what you must do," commander Drautos said in an annoyingly condescending manner, making Nyx wonder how they got to the point were this man was insisting on being killed. "As I said, you do what you must for the good of your people. You know I deserve to die."

"Well we don't always get what we deserve, do we?" Nyx retorted and yes, there was some gratification in throwing the words back to his face. "There always is another way. If there isn't one, you make one."

With those words Nyx came closer and with some considerable strain lifted him up to a standing position. 

"You can't be serious." 

"Yeah, shut up and walk."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, every comment and kudos is a joy! There is a [tag](http://vivicogitator.tumblr.com/tagged/for-hearth-and-home) on my tmblr dedicated to this fic and questions about it, come say hi anytime!


	3. Chapter 3

Commander Drautos was higher than Nyx and in his armor he towered even more, which was actually convenient for their awkward shuffle down the half-ruined boulevard. With a hand thrown over his shoulders, Nyx could support some of his weight even if their steps never quite aligned, resulting in a swaying walk usually exhibited by drunken comrades returning home after a night out. 

Nyx realized just how insane and almost comical the situation was, with him practically dragging general Glauca away from public justice. The very person he would’ve killed without a second thought, if only both of them could muster enough strength for an actual fight. But they could not and that potential immigrant conflict was an infuriatingly plausible development, so shuffle it was.

They have covered almost two blocks, sidestepping the particularly unsteady looking rubble structures and gaping holes in the ground were parts of the road have caved in, before commander managed to utter a breathless inquiry. 

“Where… where are we going?”

Nyx loathed admitting that he needed a couple of seconds to collect his thoughts, because he was loosing his strength and lucidity with it, and loosing fast. 

“Away. So you can either die or get rid of this armor before you condemn more innocent lives,” he finally said.

Drautos completely ignored his insolent tone, probably immune to it from years of exposure and kept on walking, producing dull metal thuds and clinks with every step. 

The street was only partially buried under the debris but they had to pay attention to avoid large chunks of glass crashing from the upper floors every now and then, or lines of power cables waggling on the wind and bursting sparks with a crackling sound, whenever their torn ends touched the water puddles, spreading from the broken pipes all over. 

“Either option will take time,” he said after a minute, visibly suppressing a cough. They were getting closer to a burning bus, and a thick black smoke mixing with the dust swirling around, was making the air almost unbreathable. “Too much damage sustained. The armor can’t heal me efficiently until it’s fixed, but it can’t properly grow back because all the energy is directed to healing.” 

Nyx squinted to the side and yes; it was actually growing back, which was not a little bit unsettling. Previously melted upper part of the breastplate was connected to the neck protector again. He wouldn’t have been able to make that final strike now. He surely noticed this characteristic during the fight, but then it was just another detail to keep at the back of his mind. Now he couldn’t help but wonder about the mechanics behind it. 

It was also a preferable thing to think about, as opposed to tidal waves of pain crashing inside him stronger and stronger as minutes went by. The unnatural blaze previously visible in the cracks of burned skin on his left hand was gone, but it sure felt like there were cinders left behind and they were getting more and more ardent. 

“It grows and heals. What kind of armor is that anyways?” he asked, desperately trying to concentrate only on forming words and helping both of them to navigate in a maze of fallen cracked ad screens. 

“Special kind. It was an experiment that never worked out,” Drautos answered, with a cutting quality to his words, obviously not eager to go into details. There clearly was more to the story behind it. More to all of it. Yet again Nyx felt the want, the need, to understand what led this man to such a despicable end. So he prodded further. 

“Looks working to me. Maybe working a bit too good if you can’t take it off.”

And again he was met by silence, but Nyx was getting better at waiting it out. Maybe it was the admission that he was owed some truth, or a tribute to years of shared service, or a simple fact that either or both of them were likely to die soon, but for whatever reason, commander Drautos was grudgingly giving up bits of information. 

They were closing to the border of sector D, which seemly suffered the majority of the destruction, when he muttered: 

“It doesn’t have a separate mind of it’s own, but it has prerogatives about keeping me alive,” he said, sounding somewhat annoyed, probably at himself for explaining anything at all. “If the injury is critical enough, I may loose consciousness and not be able to admission initial medical attention. So it works in a predetermined protocol until I’m deemed able to make decisions again.” 

“Huh. Who’s wearing whom, there? Also, wasn’t it… it was growing way faster. Before?” Nyx didn’t say: _when I was trying really hard to kill you_ , but both of them heard it anyways. 

“That’s why it can’t now. Not enough energy left.”

Before Nyx could ask for more, there were loud voices to their left and they had to rush into the side alley to avoid colliding with another group of Insomnia citizens. 

At times they heard the agonizing cries of the wounded or desperate wails of someone loosing a beloved one, but always far enough that Nyx could tell himself, that help will get to them before he could. 

“So… the armor’s battery is dead… Can’t you just…” the way they hurried down the alley was taking a toll on him, leaving little chance for talking between the haggard breaths. But the talking was all he could do to distract himself, to not think about the people stuck under the collapsed buildings or the pain surges coursing through him. Nyx blinked away the beads of cold sweat slowly running down his forehead.

“No.”

“What do you…”

“No,” Drautos repeated with more emphasis. Refusing to answer and likely continue their conversation at all.

Nyx couldn’t argue. He closed his eyes against the spinning world, but opened them hastily back, when he nearly tripped over the curbstone. It was getting harder to walk, despite the fact that they were going through the mostly undamaged street now. He was hurting really bad. 

It was also getting harder to point out why and where they were going. Away, he remembered that much. But how far? They were pretty close to the city center, probably in sector C, what’s with all the clubs and restaurants and fancy hotels, mostly deserted, brightly lit in some places and totally dark in the others where the power lines collapsed. It was as good a place as any; there will be more people in the outer districts, trying to get out of Insomnia.

Still they walked mindlessly, until something sharply tugged at his back. Nyx swayed and nearly toppled. It was one of his blue coat tails, most likely thrown there by the wind and caught on a bent road sign. He tried to tug at it, but it was wedged tightly in the twisted metal.

Commander Drautos gave him the look. How many times they had that talk about how it was meant to happen, if he kept on with his ridiculous traditional Galahdian adornment. Nyx returned the look with his own affronted one. It has _never_ happened before. 

Before Nyx could tell him a piece of his mind, though, Drautos lifted up the arm resting on his shoulders and severed the material with a sharp edge of his gauntlet. 

Nyx was about to protest but really it wasn’t worth the hustle. He was actually more alarmed by the way he swayed unsteadily on his feet, before that heavy arm came back on his shoulders. He was not aware that he used Drautos for support as much as he provided his own.

So they continued their staggering descend.

Although they stayed away from the main streets, keeping to the back alleys and side lanes, this district was undoubtedly downtown. Less official than sector D with all the banks and historical monuments, that happened to be ancient guard robots, and more of the luxury and entertainment area. Even while not fully powered and crashed in places the buildings were bathed in colorful lights from the screens on every wall. There were running fountains and lavish cars left on the middle of the road. The sun glimmered dazzlingly on all the polished stones and golden ornaments. Not a person around. Nyx supposed that rich people usually strolling these streets were already beyond the borders of Insomnia or getting there swiftly. No one wanted to stay in the city just overtaken by the enemy, but some had more chances for escaping then the others. 

For a second his thoughts turned to Lunafreya with worry, but he trusted Libertus with his duty to get her to Altissia safely. Because while it was actually closing to midday, he was getting progressively worse and had to cease whatever little hope had defiantly emerged in him for finishing the job himself. 

Nyx kept his left arm cradled to his body not sure if the pressure helped with the visceral pain in his stomach or he just wanted to keep it in his line of sight to be sure it didn’t combust in actual flames again. He wasn’t able to tell the difference from the feeling alone anymore. 

Loud music blasted inside the sumptuous casino they passed and Drautos swept the street with a simmering glare. 

"Look at them thriving on our blood.”

“ _Now_ you want to talk?” Nyx huffed between the gritted teeth. 

He made a couple more unsteady steps but those words seemed to drain his strength at last, and he stumbled to his knees clenching at his stomach. 

Nyx heard commander Drautos asking “What?” but it sounded far away like he talked from under water. 

With the last shards of control over his body, Nyx swayed to the side to lean on a wall. He noticed in passing that Drautos was actually standing on his own, so his job here seemed to be finished at least. 

“The… the hollow-points.” 

“The bullets? But the magic of the ring? I thought you were healed. It's not possible to fight with wounds like that,” commander sounded somewhat shocked. Nyx could admit to himself he always liked to rouse that tone in people. 

“Not healed,” Nyx said breathlessly. “Numbed? Closed off. I don't know… I have stopped feeling them but it came back. The arm too.” 

Nyx was vaguely aware that Drautos was heavily crouched next to him. 

“You should get medical help,” he said, like it only just occurred to him.

“It's ok, they said dawn,” Nyx drawled. “I guess it means something else when you're a King… They probably get up later. I sure got more time, than they promised. Wouldn't approve me spending it on helping you, but they were assholes anyways.” 

“You are delirious.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Nyx felt how his awareness was slipping away. He grasped for it, not willing to go before he could understand. “Will you explain now? I don't want to go not knowing.”

Titus Drautos clasped his right shoulder and squeezed. 

“Then don't. I'll explain, if you stay alive long enough to hear it.” 

The sun was shining high.

Maybe it was the next dawn after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, every comment and kudos is a joy! There is a [tag](http://vivicogitator.tumblr.com/tagged/for-hearth-and-home) on my tmblr dedicated to this fic and questions about it, come say hi anytime!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, this and the next chapter include some graphic description of Nyx' injuries.

Nyx opened his eyes, but apparently continued dreaming. Or maybe he was dead. Because everywhere around him there were strangely beautiful faces, flickering and spinning in the air, smiling enigmatically at him. If he was truly dead, he felt cheated, because it still hurt like hell and he couldn’t see his sister and that was the only beautiful face he anticipated seeing after passing to the other side.

His thoughts were like disrupted radio signals, some parts missing or distorted, some coming on endless loops. He was badly hurt, that much was clear. He was… in a battle? Of course he was in a battle, why else would he be hurting so much.

His insides pulsed with pain, like it was a living thing inside him, turning and squeezing something vital, trying to burst out. The air around was scorching and freezing in turns and the effort needed to just breathe, seemed barely worth it. Mainly because he kept taking in quick shallow breaths and they seemed totally devoid of oxygen, leaving him dizzy and suffocating. 

More things filtered into his awareness. He was lying on a firm medical table, not a very familiar but recognizable sensation. There was a prickly feeling of the IV needle stuck into his right arm. Yes, his left was… out of commission. The details were fuzzy but it felt numb in a bad way, like it wasn’t even there anymore. There was also something wrong with his head, because the surge of panic he felt was nowhere strong enough as it probably should have been. 

Distinctive acrid smell of antiseptic strangely mixed with something pungent and flowery and mostly covered a hint of vomit stench. 

The scene was unfamiliar but not a long stretch from the wounded in the battle drill, he went through more than once. 

Nyx got restless for a moment, because if he was injured, what about Libertus or Crowe? Were they okay? Was a mission successful? Did he become a liability? He couldn’t concentrate on one thought long enough to figure out an answer. 

There was an ambiguous noise in a vaguely annoying pitch coming from somewhere close. But then the tone changed to a deeper grouchier one and, right, that was human speech, someone was talking nearby. 

“… shock, the time is crucial!” 

“Then do something about it.”

Oh, that was commander Drautos being pissed. Nyx felt himself relaxing a bit. If commander was here, the mission was over one way or another and he would take care of the others. 

Nyx was shuddering from pain or maybe fever, because he was drenched in sweat, but his mind calmed down a little, knowing that his commander was there to make things right. 

“I keep telling you, he needs to go to the actual hospital to get a medical attention,” someone said in an exasperated manner. And Nyx could really do without that whiny voice close by. 

“It says on the door, that you are an actual doctor. Those golden plates on your wall confirm it too.”

“Well yes, I am, but of the other kind, you… Surely you understand! I assume it’s not your area of competence but you must comprehend the difference between my specialty and this!” 

Nyx was too far-gone to get a solid grip on the conversation, but he thought for a second the whiny guy was asking for trouble, talking to Titus Drautos in that presumptuous tone. 

“I was leaving the building anyway, there is a transport waiting for me. You have to let me go, you have no right, in my position…” there was a muffled squeak and the voice returned in much more respectful manner. “There is certainly no need for that, dear sir. I’m cooperating here. I merely suggested what was in the best interest of your friend.” 

A moment later there were unnaturally hot hands on a bare skin of his abdomen and Nyx grunted weakly in protest. It was a strange sensation, how doctor’s (he had to be a doctor?) palms tried to press on his stomach but the muscles there were too rigid to give in at all. When he did manage to press in, there was just a bit more pain, but when the pressing palm was suddenly gone, Nyx cried out from a stab of pure agony. He was not aware he could be in more pain, than he was already. 

Those same hands prodded under his chin for a pulse point and, while instinctively and unsuccessfully trying to move away, Nyx wondered how now they seemed frigid. Could the doctor be not well himself, if his temperature was so jumpy? Wasn’t his job to make people ache less not more? Could you really trust an ill cruel doctor, who was also disrespectful? Nyx thought it was an important point that must be brought to the commander’s attention. But he couldn’t really open his mouth with those fingers still digging under his jawbone. 

“His condition is critical and I have neither supplies nor equipment, or even sufficient training for such treatment. How long you said, since he was injured?”

A beautiful face of a woman to his left winked at him and disappeared in a whirlpool of petals, immediately replaced by another one. It finally occurred to Nyx, that he was probably hallucinating, even though it was a strange choice for his subconscious, he didn’t really like any of the faces. 

“About twelve hours.” 

“The time is running out, sir. He will die if the fragments are not taken out. But even without them, I’m afraid the infection has already spread and he’s on a verge of a hypovolemic shock. That is a serious…” 

“I know. Take them out.”

“But sir, he won’t survive the operation! Frankly I don’t think he could survive it even in a hospital. I mean, without the magic, there is nothing…”

“What did you just say?”

“I said, that the only way he could survive this, is if there was healing magic involved. But after the King’s death, there is simply none.”

“Ulric,” suddenly commander Drautos was in his line of vision. A helmet of some kind oddly covered half of his face. 

But Nyx actually looked over his shoulder and something finally clicked in his mind. Those were screens! The faces were just images on the screens! It made almost less sense than hallucinations. Who would put screens with smiling ladies in infirmary? In recovery unit yes, but in actual examination room that was just weird. 

“Ulric,” Drautos called again and grabbed his jaw, forcing him to look straight. “Nyx.”

“The violence to the…” 

“Sir,” Nyx slurred in acknowledgement. “Why are you wearing…?” 

“Nyx. Do you remember what happened? Who am I?” commander interrupted him briskly. 

“You are Titus Drautos the commander of Kingsglaive. I… was in a battle,” Nyx said, but the last part was actually more of a question.

Commander paused at that, searching something in his face. 

“Yes. You were fighting with the enemy. And now doc here is going to patch you up. You have the magic, right?” he asked, with a strange intense look. 

Of course Nyx had the magic, he was a Glaive. It was buzzing familiarly inside him, deep down under the pain and the tremors. 

“Yes” Nyx said, leaving the “duh” out of it, but evident, judging by a small twitch of Drauros’ lips. 

“Libertus, Crowe and the others? Are they ok?” Nyx finally asked, what was troubling him all this time. Commander nodded resolutely. 

“You are the only one here, aren’t you?” 

Right. Relief was strong enough to make him smile, despite all of the pains. 

“Listen up, Ulric. Your magic. You must share it with doc, so he can fix you up.”

“Share? It?”, Nyx asked in confusion. How the fuck he was supposed to do that? It made the same amount of sense as suggesting to share your leg or arm with someone. None. 

“Yes. Like the King does.”

“But…”

“Just do it,” there was a distinct ring of an order to it.

Nyx reluctantly reached inside for what he usually felt as a flickering light, but there was a wall of fire instead. Wow. It was more power than he ever felt. It took some time to adjust to the shear amount. 

The sour-faced guy in round glasses with a black messy ponytail, presumably the doctor, looked skeptically at him. 

“Nothing,” he said, like proving some point. 

Nyx really wished he could punch the guy. Instead he tried as much as he could to channel his magic into him. 

A second or two nothing happened but then doctor raised his hand with a surprised yelp. There was a sharp-looking scalpel in it, but the reason for his reaction was probably the blue flames surrounding the blade. 

It was a strange feeling to give rather than receive the flow of power. And there were so many questions about what was going on in his head that Nyx was not entirely sure it was actually happening.

So when his arm started burning too, he was only somewhat alarmed. The pain came a moment later, crushing but still much weaker than he would expect from a boiling flesh. 

“Shit. Put it down!” someone said to someone. Nyx was not sure whom, but there was water and hissing of the flames and he tried his best to curl in a protective ball around his left arm, but an IV tube in his right and strong hands pushing his shoulders down, stopped that from happening. 

“What was that? Who is he? How is it even possible to…?” doc was back to his annoyingly high-pitched voice. 

“He needs more painkillers,” commander Drautos said. And Nyx reasonably expected to be the one to get them, because yes, he needed them a lot. 

“But I’ve already. I don’t even know how he can feel that arm at all,” doctor protested but obediently produced a syringe and started making small injections all over his still smoking skin. Nyx gritted his teeth but it was true, he barely felt anything at all now and the numbness was chasing the last pangs away. 

“Can I have that inside too, please?” he asked breathlessly. 

Apparently he could not, but there were injections all over his stomach, which helped him to get some relief. 

Until he understood that the plan was to cut him open and take out two hollow-points, which somehow ended there, leaving no entering wounds behind. And not just take them out, but also to repair all the damage they done, flush him with a combination of antibiotics and healing magic and sew him back up, like a ragdoll that needed restuffing. 

Nyx tuned out two men discussing the proceedings of the operation, including the part where his arm was likely to combust again. He was not in the right mind but there was just too much strangeness. The hollow-points. Now with his pain numbed for a moment he could concentrate and that just made no sense.

And then, unexpectedly, like a shot to the gut from a former friend, it came back to him. 

Nyx sobbed, remembering everything: Crowe, Luche, King Regis, Drautos. The fall of the capital and their thoughtless shuffling down the streets. 

“Hang on,” commander Drautos (general Glauca!) was at his side again, looking down with something bordering on concern. I know what you did, Nyx wanted to shout into his face. Cold metal gauntlet covered his mouth. “Don’t talk. Gather your strength.”

Did he know what Nyx was about to say? 

There was no telling, and then the anxious-looking doctor was back with a trolley full of sharp instruments and said in no way certainly: 

“Should we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, every comment and kudos is a joy! There is a [tag](http://vivicogitator.tumblr.com/tagged/for-hearth-and-home) on my tmblr dedicated to this fic and questions about it, come say hi anytime!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, this chapter includes some graphic description of Nyx' injuries.

Nyx really wished his memory could stall for just a minute longer and give him the bliss of ignorance to shelter behind like a shield. Instead he got a double-edged sword of truth that weighted him down, provided no protection and cut almost as deep as a scalpel in doctor’s hand.

But as the blade cut a slightly twisted horizontal line across his lower stomach, Nyx thought about the total helplessness and confusion he felt facing the betrayal after betrayal and how his impotent rage turned to resigned determination.

It was like his feverish dazed state left him defenseless against the undiluted emotions he usually could get a hold of. The physical pain was shattering but paired with inner emotional onslaught it was so much worse.

“Nyx, magic.”

Yes, he was supposed to keep channeling the magic at any cost. Nyx fixed his wavering focus, noting how the fire on his hand flared before dying down under a splash of water.

Doctor prodded with some metal pincers into the open cut and Nyx couldn’t keep the sounds locked in his throat anymore.

The metal gauntlet that still covered his mouth was only somewhat successful in smothering the screams and not for long either. Because as much as he tried not to, Nyx started writhing on a makeshift surgical table and needed to be held down.

Once again his shoulders were firmly pressed to the table and Nyx wished his head could be fixated there as well. Because he really didn’t want to look, but couldn’t tear his gaze away from the sight. The slash on his abdomen was held open by some kind of metal spreaders and oozing with deep dark blood.

“Magic!” Drautos barked at him and Nyx obediently sent another wave, resulting in another fire on his arm and the noticeable stop of the blood gushing from the wound.

Doctor hummed nervously and went into the cut with a pair of curved forceps.

Nyx let his head fall back, getting in small gulps of air and letting them out in quiet whimpers.

“What’s wrong? You said you were using the anesthetic.”

Nyx heard the voices but yet again, couldn’t care what they said. He was robbed of the death that was promised to him. He wished for the Old Kings to appear right there to collect his debt.

“I am! But this kind of operation should be performed with narcosis not this! I numbed the outer skin layers but that’s all I can do. His arm is pumped so full of the solution it’s already far beyond any recommended dosage levels, I can’t use more!”

“Do it.”

“But he can die from the overdose!”

“I prefer that over him dying from the pain shock. Do it.”

There were more injections Nyx saw but couldn’t feel, slowly diminishing the pain to almost bearable level.

Nyx sobbed with relief and shoved his face into the unyielding metal of the forearm bracer Drautos had on his left arm. There was nothing else he could anchor himself with.

“Hang on,” commander said in a low voice. “Your friends need you alive.”

Nyx squeezed his eyes tightly shut and nodded, excepting the soothing lie for the only consolation he was allowed.

“I need the magic, sir!”

And so it continued.

Nyx was distantly aware of a clanking sound when the first bullet was dropped into a metal plate. But the second was either stuck or hard to find, because it sure took much longer.

His consciousness was trying to slip away for more than once, before there was a second clank. But that was not permitted and so he was called and shaken back.

Then he was prompted for more and more magic and there were many blue lights flying around as if he just warped on this table. And for a moment Nyx imagined how he could maybe warp away. But his kukri knives were gone with his clothes. He really hoped they were not gone for good he loved those knives.

“I’m not sure it will work, sir. Seems counterproductive, if the magic is what causing the damage in the first place.”

“Try it anyway. He needs that arm.”

“Magic, Nyx.”

Okay.

He could give more.

But just a little bit. There wasn’t much left. Or maybe there was, but he couldn’t transfer it anymore. There wasn’t much left of what to transfer it in.

And just like that it was over.

“You can rest now,” commander said and Nyx was out, almost before he could hear the rest of it. “You did good.”

***

Nyx thought he opened his eyes a moment later but it had to be wrong. He was still lying on the same surface and had an IV attached to the inside of his right elbow but now he was covered with a thin sheet and his left arm was actually tangible, even if numbed and under the thick layer of bandages.

He felt a dull ache all over but not real pain; he recognized the difference now. There was an overwhelming level of exhaustion, far beyond any kind of tiredness he ever felt before. But that was almost nice, it left him too tired to care about what happened the last time he was awake or what would happen next.

The credit for his tranquil state undoubtedly went to those bursting bags with liquid hanging over his head that his IV tubes were connected to.

Somewhere on the background, probably in the adjoining room, there was a working TV with a news channel on. The anchorwoman was briskly relaying the situation in each district of Insomnia and from her choice words alone Nyx figured that Niflheim was not in control of the news stations just yet. Or that particular one, at least. That was a petty but undeniably pleasant thought to have.

Nyx finally had a chance to look around. The place was giving away a weird vibe, like a mix of a medical facility and a swanky hotel room. All kinds of medical equipment were stationed among the plush silk sofas on artfully carved legs and round inlaid tables.

No one else was in sight but those smiling faces on the screens around him. Nyx gaped at them, he was positive those were his delusions. They were not. He noticed a text line running under the images that he previously missed, it said: _We can stop the time for you. Stay beautiful, stay young. Find your vitality source in Ran-shi beauty clinic._

Nyx huffed in amusement. Apparently he was operated in a plastic surgery clinic for wealthy old ladies.

“So you have finally noticed?”

Nyx tensed up at the sound of the partially distorted voice. Commander Drautos really looked much more like general Glauca now, with a lower part of his helmet back in place. There were still gaps on his upper body armor, though, it wasn’t restored that much. But the voice, even more than his mostly covered face, made Nyx cringe reflexively.

There was a long tense pause. But it was stupid, he couldn’t fight, couldn’t even sit up. And they went through it already.

“I hope you didn’t change the form of my nose,” Nyx said at last.

“I don’t see any need for that.”

Nyx felt the urge to smirk, so he continued talking instead.

“But actually, why here?”

“It was the only somewhat medical place I could physically get you to,” commander said and when he passed to the other side of the room to recline heavily on one of those ridiculous sofas, he still had a pronounced limp.

Right now it was hard to say which one of them was in a worse shape. Or so Nyx wished to think, because in all honesty only one of them was bedridden.

“And the doctor?”

“Just got really unlucky. He came back for the company’s money in the safe.”

“I came back for some personal belongings!”

The guy was even less pleasant when Nyx could actually see him properly. He was also radiating fake-looking indignation.

Perhaps Nyx should have been more grateful for the successful inner surgery from someone who was probably more into lifting under eye bags and enlarging breasts. He really wasn’t, but still managed to produce a mostly sincere smile.

“Thanks for the… ugh.”

Doctor pursed his lips, not appreciating the effort at all. He came closer and jabbed his wiry fingers into Nyx’ neck, supposedly looking for a pulse. Then frowned at his wristwatch, silently counting the beats. Nyx raised his eyebrows at him.

“The pulse is weak but regular. If no complications will occur, my prognosis is favorable. Can I leave _now_?”

“You can leave, when he can leave,” commander Drautos said and the metallic rattle of his altered voice strongly discouraged any protest. Doctor seemed to pick up on that because his only reaction was another pout and a dirty look he for some reason gave Nyx.

“Make that louder,” Drautos said, suddenly.

Nyx guessed he was talking about the TV, when doctor went for the remote on the nearby armchair. From his position on the cot, Nyx couldn’t see the screen and he wasn’t keen on trying to move. He heard it just fine.

_“Coming back to the newscast. In our previous piece we aired a recording of a man fighting general Glauca the commander of the Niflheim army last night._

_It is still unclear how the man was able to use king’s magic after the decease of King Regis that happened by our estimation yesterday around 18:23. It is confirmed that it was not Prince Noctis, as some sources previously have suggested. We have just received this new footage from the surveillance camera in the area. The man on this close up was identified as Nyx Ulric, the highly acclaimed member of the Kingsglaive._

_Previously we reported about some members of the Kingsglaive being spotted cooperating with the Niflheim troops. As well as former member of the royal guard Libertus Ostium, being one of the suspects responsible for the explosions on the city square. However, the allegations about Kingsglaive unit defecting to the enemy en masse seem to be proven premature. We are glad to witness that some members of the Glaive remained loyal in this time of crisis._

_Lets watch again these last shots of the fight, before the camera got damaged. We see both men falling from that critical high but also notice how Nyx Ulric delivered two serious strikes with his weapon. Unfortunately we do not know about the location or state of either of two men. Both of them are presumed dead. But we are not loosing hope to find Nyx Ulric if only to bury the hero Insomnia needed so much._ _And now back to the situation at the west gate…”_

Nyx stared at the steady trickle in his IV drip chamber. The novelty of being called a hero has worn of by now, but it was the first time he had it done on the national television or postmortem. Neither of those happened to be particularly appealing.

On the bright side, it seemed like the scraps of Kingsglaive’s good name were secured. And that was the point of their temporary alliance after all. Nyx wasn’t sure how things were supposed to go from there and he almost welcomed the all-consuming wave of drowsiness, blurring the edges of his vision.

“But you are… and you! I don’t understand what is going on here!” doctor exclaimed. He was looking at them in turns and very obviously freaking out during the broadcast.

“Good thing it’s none of your business, then,” said commander with general Glauca’s voice and Nyx struggled to keep his eyes open to remind himself he wasn’t that. Wasn’t only that.

Doctor looked like he was trying to work up the nerve to disagree but he was abruptly cut off by low insistent beeping.

Nyx followed the sound and it seemed to be coming from Drautos, or more accurately the newly restored horn on the right side of his armor.

Incoming call?

So it really was time to part ways.

The moment filled only with the beeping stretched and stretched impossibly long.

After almost a minute of stillness, commander Drautos placed a hard look at the nervously fidgeting doctor. Then he moved and with some noticeable effort snapped the freshly fixed part away, letting it clank down the floor. The beeping has stopped.

***

Nyx jerked awake. He probably wasn’t out for a very long time, since the crumpled metal suit with a person inside still resided on a sofa in a same position as before.

It was getting on his nerves how he fluctuated between conscious and unconscious state without any semblance of control or awareness.

Then Nyx heard a beeping and figured out what woke him up in the first place.

The part of Glauca’s helmet where the communication device seemed to be located, probably grew back again. The pause this time was shorter and that piece was snapped just the same way as a previous one, leaving the silence for the low murmur from the TV to fill.

There were two nearly identical pieces on the floor now and Nyx had to wonder if it could just keep on happening. If there would be a pile of metal horns in the corner at some point. It was kind of surreal and unfeasible. And probably not possible, since he knew that the power source of that armor was at its limit.

Commander Drautos… Nyx had to think about him in that way, but putting the emphasis on that persona only served as an additional reminder that there was another one. _Commander Drautos_ unaware of being observed slouched more and sighed. Was the armor detracting the energy from his healing to fix up the communication device? That seemed like a legitimate strategy, but it was really hard to say with the magitech stuff, who knew on what logic they operated.

“Thirsty?”

Nyx flinched. He assumed his scrutiny went unnoticed.

Also now that he took a moment to examine himself he felt how extremely dry his throat was. It was hard to say what time or even day it was, but he was pretty sure, that it has been more than twenty-four hours since he had any water. Or food for that matter, but hunger was not very high on his priorities’ list right now. Truth be told, he dreaded the necessity of putting his insides to the test like that in the near future.

“Yeah,” Nyx croaked. "Where is doc?"

He glanced around the room, not searching for the sulky doctor, but to avoid looking at that armor for longer than necessary. Things were easier to ignore on the go, when he was mostly out of it. Now he had to face the reality and that proved to be a challenge.

"Retired to the penthouse."

For a moment Nyx wondered if it was a figure of speech, like shorthand for dead. But even in his own mind he couldn’t tell if it was a serious or sarcastic thought. And they actually were in a place were people did that – retired to their penthouses for the night.

He considered asking for details but really, he couldn’t care less. And then there was a big cup of water with a straw and he was busy trying not to drown with how fast he gulped it down.

It took him two and a half cups before he made himself stop. It was a very bad idea to get sick with it.

Nyx rolled his head back and stared at the ceiling, he was still very tired. But there were things he wanted clarified. Like what the fuck with all this sudden rescue act and ignoring what must have been calls from the superiors. And yes, there was a need to avoid misguided street vengeance but that TV broadcast pretty much secured that front for them.

There was a grating metal sound and Nyx looked up to see the man pushing back the upper part of his helmet with some significant effort. It wasn’t fully fixed so it jammed and screeched all the way and ended up skewed anyways.

It was unexpectedly pleasing to see his whole face again, even gaunt and still smeared with ash. Nyx knew well enough that it was there behind the metal all this time but there was a major difference between knowing and being able to actually see it.

The last time he saw that face it brought him hope and relief. Now he knew better, but inexplicably it still did.

Nyx wanted to ask why he took it off, why in this exact moment. But it was clear for both of them how all of this was making Nyx uncomfortable. He wasn’t ready to hear that the reason for any actions were for his sake. He wasn’t ready to go there, despite the fact that he was still alive. Was forced to stay alive. There was a person held hostage to keep him alive. He was too aware of it already.

“How do you feel?” commander asked bluntly. It wasn’t care, it was a request for the status update, and Nyx felt genuine gratitude for that tone.

“Fatigued, sore, slightly dizzy. Mostly numb,” he felt silent for a second. It was not easy to figure if it was due to his state or their situation in general, but he added: “Confused.”

Drautos took a step closer and made a move as if to touch, maybe check his pulse, but then frowned at his ironclad hand and draw it back.

“You look feverish, I’ll call the doctor.”

“Do you remember, that you have a promise to fulfill?” Nyx asked, fighting his engrained desire to add “sir”. He could hold onto that promise as an explanation for now.

Drautos granted him no answer and went for what had to be the exit.

Nyx made an exasperated exhale and ok, that hurt some more. No rapid abdominal movement for him yet. But he could turn his head to glower at the retreating metal back. There was a ring in the middle, with purple material attached to it that he haven’t noticed before. Was the cloth growing back the same way metal did? It was somehow even stranger.

“Wait. What about those calls?” Nyx asked, despite himself. He didn’t want to ask, didn’t want to presume, but how else could he interpret that?

Drautos may have slowed down for a moment, or maybe he didn’t.

“I’ll call the doctor.”

And he was out. Nyx gritted his teeth.

The doctor was in an actual dressing gown and predictably pissy mood. However, he got worried after measuring his temperature. Nyx had no illusions about that concern being about his health. What’s with all the side glances over the bedside.

“It’s quite high but not critical yet. But if it’s an internal infection, I shed all responsibility,” doc said hastily and went to the medical cabinet with needless golden ornaments on the opposite side of the room with one of the half-empty IV bags.

“So about that promise,” Nyx insisted, using their relative privacy. He could be dying again, what’s new. Besides, there was that second dawn looming somewhere.

“You failed to uphold your part of the deal,” Drautos had the nerve to say.

“I’m still alive.”

“But not in the clear,” he said with the clear disapproval in his voice. As if Nyx personally failed to be miraculously healed and was lying around half-dead out of spite.

Nyx felt that same bubbling rage coming up inside him but got distracted, hearing his own name from the TV again.

_“…location of Nyx Ulric will be rewarded. Any individuals engaged in terrorist acts against the imperial garrison or upcoming provisional government will be considered criminals and receive extrajudicial sentence. All persons suspected in harboring or assisting the criminals will be punished accordingly to the martial law. We remind you once again about the mandatory directives. Permit required for city border transition, curfew restrictions are…”_

Stern male voice continued recounting numerous orders Insomnia citizens had to obey to not get shot.

So he was a wanted man now. Nyx searched for any feelings about it, but beyond his bone-deep weariness and slowly returning pain there wasn’t anything left.

Well he felt just a little bit of pity towards doc, who was motionless and white as a sheet on the other side of the room, before he returned to his medicine supplies with his hands shaking.

Commander Drautos was looking grimly at the direction of the TV.

Nyx felt frustration choking him from the inside. You won, he wanted to say, so be fucking glad. Because when he wasn’t, Nyx was getting stupid ideas like maybe he was a triple agent of some kind, maybe it wasn’t true in the end. And even after his massively traumatic experience and with any kind of fever Nyx realized how dangerous and incorrect those thoughts were. He was perfectly aware of the reality. But still.

And then there was that beeping once again.

The horn was only partly formed this time, but still it seamed to grow faster than before.

Nyx watched insistently. And ironically enough wished for nothing but for general Glauca to answer his people and say he is alive and has a prisoner and reports to the headquarters soon.

But once again the piece of metal got snapped away and thrown in the corner.

“Do everything that is in your power,” Drautos said to the startled doctor with a distinct or else, and went for the exit. Before his departure started making sense, he added. “I won’t be long.”

***

Time went by and Nyx was getting worse. He was shuddering and sweating and semiconscious, aching and longing for oblivion.

The first hour or two the doctor was fussing over him but after various tests and assessments he finally uttered something about the fever being a perfectly normal reaction and that there was probably no infection involved.

At that point Nyx was mostly sleeping so he made an indifferent sound and was finally left alone.

Nyx was in a restless doze, getting some disjointed images more half-formed thoughts than dreams, as he was still aware of lying in an unlikely facility somewhere downtown.

He woke up from a cold comforting touch.

Nyx squinted up, not really opening his eyes, not sure if it was something worth getting out of the shaky slumber for.

General Glauca in his full armor was standing above him, with his hand resting lightly on Nyx’ throat.

He couldn’t be referred to as commander Drautos in armor, because turned out there was a distinct difference between the two. The armor itself was not only whole but also glowing with a purplish red from the inside. Something Nyx haven’t noticed wasn’t the case before. In his other hand general Glauca had his enormous sword also glowing dimly. That previously wasn’t there too.

The metal of the gauntlet was actually pleasant against his burning skin but there was no mistake about the intention there.

Nyx closed his eyes, if anything he was content with the situation finally making sense.

He already felt that powerful hold chocking him in the battle once. The hand was big enough to wrap around his neck and snap it efficiently in one move. Or maybe crush his throat, or even quickly slash it, like his blue coat tails were slashed before.

Any way was better than dying from the pain, Nyx only wished the man could make up his mind sooner so that there was no need for all that agony he went through to survive for one more day.

“Nothing. Only your legacy,” general Glauca said, distorted but softly as if echoing a distant thought. It sounded strangely firm and almost hesitant at the same time.

Metal fingers twitched slightly as if expecting the fight and Nyx relaxed further, showing there really wasn’t any left.

He felt his own pulse shuddering against the solid metal, fastening as the tight hold hindered his breath.

The pause stretched with that hold being more than touch but less than strangle.

And then the hand suddenly lifted up and touched his burning cheek were the mark under his eye was. Tribute to his sister, his worse failure to not be forgotten.

“I’ll carry out my promise.”

For some reason Nyx wasn’t sure those words were meant entirely for him.

“Sleep.”

But that one was. So he obeyed the order.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out the amazing [fanart](http://vivicogitator.tumblr.com/post/152198494151/jarofalives-nyx-sobbed-with-relief-and-shoved) I got for this chapter!
> 
> Thank you for reading, every comment and kudos is a joy! There is a [tag](http://vivicogitator.tumblr.com/tagged/for-hearth-and-home) on my tmblr dedicated to this fic and questions about it, come say hi anytime.


	6. Chapter 6

The next time Nyx woke up was rather anticlimactic. He felt more pain but his head was much clearer with the fever apparently gone. 

Thankfully devoid of more news TV was murmuring advertisements in a background. The sulky doctor was very much alive, sitting on a sofa and drinking coffee, both things Nyx felt promptly very jealous of. 

Across from him commander Drautos without any armor and wearing clearly borrowed plain clothes reposed in a chair. Nyx stared a bit, for his almost five years of service he has never actually seen the man not in the uniform to at least some degree.

He almost wondered if he dreamed up what happened during the night (or whatever the time of the day it was). But it actually aligned with what commander said before, at least in part that to take the armor off it had to be restored first. He went away and must have recharged it somehow. Then he came back and all apparent sense was lost yet again.

This time around Nyx was allowed more water and some kind of instant porridge, tasting like strawberry scented cardboard. Easily most delicious thing he had in his life. 

Then there were numerous procedures and vitals checking and he was finally permitted to have an assisted trip to the bathroom. It was a small mercy that doctor was the one helping him out, because Nyx still had to remove the stuff that took care of this particular issue before. Also with some measure of threats and bargaining Nyx secured a quick shower for himself. It had to be quick because his legs were getting too shaky. He strongly suspected that doc has sanctioned the shower only because he was responsible for giving him sponge bathes before and abhorred the process meant for the nurses. 

Nyx still had to keep the bandages on his arm and stomach on. He was very much on board with not looking under those for now, but it made for a tricky arrangement with many layers of some plastic wrap and medical duct tape to keep it waterproof. 

Standing under the blissfully warm spray Nyx tried to assess the situation. For the first time in days his still troubled but manageable physical condition was not muddling his perception. He was a mess inside out and situation was crazy and he could not pinpoint when it all went to hell. 

He couldn’t fathom when the Glaive started rotting from the inside, but it had to be before all the peace talks took place so it was weeks at least, otherwise months or even years. Certainly years for Titus Drautos. Nyx still remembered their first training sessions, numerous talks about him being too reckless. He owed the man everything he was as a Glaive. 

Nyx took a mental step backward, the whole Drautos issue was too big for him to consider at the moment. It influenced things that were cornerstones of his whole belief system. He had to just put it aside for a moment to be able to think about anything else at all.

There actually was a point when everything cracked and it was Crowe’s death. It was certainly not the start of the conspiracy, but for him and for Libertus it was a beginning of an end. Nyx took a time to go through all that happened to her now that he knew why and who did it. He remembered how enraged he was when Libertus said that Lucis killed Crowe. To think that he was the blind one, he really owed his friend an apology. The fact that all that happened just days before was hard to grasp. 

Nyx pushed back his wet hair and closed his eyes leaning on a tiled wall. He failed her by not noticing anything before it was too late. She died a horrible death and the pain he felt with every breath was reminding him of that. He failed Libertus, he failed king Regis, he failed all of them. 

Nyx curled his hands in fists but forcefully made them uncurl a moment later. Opened his eyes. 

Crowe was a glaive. However soiled that name was now, it meant she was a soldier. He was one too. And his job was not done. 

He had no luxury to wallow in his guilt.

Lady Lunafreya was somewhere out there with only Libertus at her side for protection. Prince Noctis was probably in even more danger. 

King Noctis, he corrected himself. Young king had a kingdom to reclaim and his duty was to assist in any way possible. 

Nyx rushed through his washing up, getting his mind back on tracks. He had an objective with no means to reach it yet, but that had to be good enough for now. 

His body wasn’t out of commission but damaged badly. On the bright side, he still had the magic he was supposed to pay with his life for. Nyx wasn’t about to start questioning why it worked as long as it worked. 

He was safe. 

Nyx touched his throat, remembering the cold touch of metal and lack of air and the long pause before he was allowed to breath again. 

Was he safe? 

The steady flow of his trained mental routine came to a halt. 

Nyx breathed in and out slowly. Get safe, assess the current situation, analyze your condition, figure out your objective and act on the first possible step toward it. The formula was engraved in his mind by years of following it in the field and out of it really. It was so familiar he rarely had to consciously use it. A simple yes or no system meant that if you couldn’t do the next step you had the previous one to rely on to figure out what to do if you were lost.

But he couldn’t really proceed if he was unable to answer the very fist question. Was he safe?

Was he safe under the care of the man who saved him for no reason, then tried to kill him and for some yet again unfathomable reason didn’t? 

Nyx felt the frustration building up. He had no idea about the true motivations of Titus Drautos and wouldn’t fully believe them now even if he were told outright. 

If he wasn’t safe, then he should leave, hobble away as long as his shaking legs would let him. 

But if he was safe, that was just madness, to run from the medical help and aggravate his wounds for nothing. 

Was he safe?

He was with commander Drautos. He very much wasn’t with general Glauca. 

Was he safe? 

He genuinely couldn’t tell and that was driving him mad. 

Nyx took another deep breath. At this point there was no choice but to pick one side and stick with it. If he made the mistake he could deal with it’s consequences, the indecisiveness was harmful regardless.

He was safe. 

He had to accept help from his commander, wait for his own basic recovery, get out of the city as soon as possible, find Lady Lunafreya and deliver her safely with a ring to King Noctis. He could work with that. 

Nyx dried himself off with a towel and looked skeptically at the sealed bag of clothes provided for clinic’s patients. It consisted of an underwear a t-shirt and short pants all glowingly white with transparent ornate mesh parts and huge logo of a clinic laid out with tiny crystals on each garment. Even on the underwear. 

Still better than strolling around in a sheet, Nyx supposed.

In all honesty the short trip to the shower and back left him swaying with exhaustion but he hoped to get more comfort from his own clothes. He got so used to the royal black that wearing something so opposite now made his skin crawl a little. 

Doctor curved his lips in displeasure at his inquiry and waved to the very corner of the room, where Nyx found his pants, boots and kukri knives. All of it he promptly put on. 

"Where are the rest of my clothes?" Nyx asked, very eager to get rid of the lace on his sleeves. 

"Those soiled rags? In the dumpster of course. I'm still surprised you got no infection," doctor answered, looking at him with apparent displeasure at his changing. 

Nyx looked up in disbelief. 

"What?"

Commander Drautos moved for the first time in his chair. He turned and looked at Nyx with something terribly close to sympathy. 

"They really were ruined," Drautos confirmed. 

And after everything _that_ was what he was showing remorse about? But worst of all was that commander was right. The loss of his uniform just put a one big final blow. 

It wasn’t just his clothes though. The Kingsglaive uniform was a source of honor and pride. It was the sign of a person chosen by the king to protect his realm by wielding his power. 

There were no totally similar uniforms either. At first they were encouraged to personify their combat gear to differentiate themselves during the battle. But after a while it became more than just a practical thing. Nyx wore the pelt of the first behemoth he singlehandedly killed on his left sleeve and Galahdian blue coat tails as a tribute to his homeland. 

It felt so stupid, to get emotional about clothes of all things. But what better symbol for the disgraceful end of the Kingsglaive itself it was. Soiled, ruined and thrown away. 

Nyx tightened the grip on his knives. Once again he was left with remnants of his life.  
For all the misery it was a familiar sensation, the thought brought him an unexpected reassurance. 

Nyx shuffled back to his cot and lay down heavily without taking off his boots, aware of his heavy thoughts but intent on ignoring them. Just as he ignored the scandalized expression on doc’s face when the man was hooking him up to the IV stand. 

Nyx wasn’t exactly napping, more like resting with half-shut eyes for the next hour or two, when yet another TV broadcast roused him back to attention. He turned to see commander with a remote, raising the sound level. 

_“… in Insomnia that is going to hold a celebration parade. The date of the festivities is to be decided by the provisional government, established by the Empire. The candidates who are going to form a new government are already discussed. They must not have any ties to the previous regime also the opinion of the capitol citizens is taken into careful consideration. After the centuries of tyranny by the Lucis Caelum dynasty, the purge is needed to clean the ranks of the corrupt officials,”_ said probably the same male voice that proclaimed Nyx a wanted man with a price tag on his head. 

Nyx lacked any desire to put a face to that voice, so he watched commander Drautos instead. Once again the man didn’t seem remotely glad to hear his party wining. He actually had no expression whatsoever. 

_“We remind you that two more heads of the District Administrations were arrested this morning with clear evidence of numerous unlawful earnings in their offices. The martial court officially stated that all the gains those executives received through extortion or unreasonable taxation would be returned to the business owners in Lucis who are willing to cooperate with the Niflheim Empire to restore justice and free trade.”_

Nyx wondered for a moment if there were Lucian people somewhere there who actually believed that shit. Or maybe if there weren’t now, if there will be later, after a broadcast like that one is repeated for a couple of hundred times. How probably some would think that the majority of the stories are clearly made up by Nifs, or blown out of proportion, but some may be actually true and well, certainly there always is some corruption going on with the officials, isn’t it? And this or that story may be a little exaggerated but some of the evidence must be true, right? 

It made him sick that he could see where all of this was going. 

_“The rumors of the autonomy for the regions that were previously part of the Lucis Kingdom are officially renounced by the Niflheim Empire. Anyone responsible for sharing those rumors or any similar claims will be accused of separatism and receive extrajudicial sentence.”_

At that one, commander Drautos actually muttered something vaguely curse-sounding. He wasn’t looking very much surprised, though. 

Nyx was tempted to mock his previous claims that Niflheim would surely give all their lands independence and lead them back to prosperity or whatever but the TV-guy was now into the long list of punishments the rebels were facing and that only meant that there were in fact rebels and it lightened his mood quite a bit. 

The citizens of Insomnia could be real assholes to the outsiders like himself but they were fiercely protective of their beautiful city and they adored their royalty. The Empire might have bitten more than they could swallow with this city. Nyx hoped they choke. 

He missed the moment when TV was turned off but the silence was a welcome one. 

Commander Drautos sagged in his chair a bit, though it was hard to tell if the broadcast was the reason or maybe weariness. Nyx was unsure how much time actually passed since they fought but he was certain there were multiple days and he had yet to see the man sleeping. 

“I believe it’s time to change the bandages,” said the doctor somehow shrilly and suddenly loud in the quiet room. 

Nyx wondered if he should have asked his name at some point. But it felt like the guy despised him with his whole being. The thing Nyx could actually understand, giving the circumstances, but wasn’t in a hurry to mold into anything resembling companionship. 

It didn’t take long for the slightly curved slice on his stomach. Just some dabs with a pinkish salve around the angry red line of the seam held together with black thread stitches crossing it in regular intervals. It looked gory and was painfully throbbing even through the medication and looking at it made it hurt worse, but the wound appeared clean, the stitches were neat and it was over and covered with the bandages relatively fast.

His left arm, though. Nyx wasn’t squeamish, being a Glaive he witnessed a great number of messy wounds, acquired some himself. He saw limbs being torn of people. But the state of his left arm still made him suck in some air and try not to part with his meager breakfast. 

It wasn’t grey and ashy with ominously blazing cracks, as it was the last time he saw it. Right now his arm looked like a half melted mass of wax, freakishly translucent with torn layers of skin visible under the smooth surface in some places and a pulpy web of unhealed scars in others. All of it was also glistering with either his wound fluid or some medical ointment, adding to the impression of a skinned flesh. 

“It is not… ideal,” said the doctor sounding actually somewhat apologetic. Professional pride, Nyx supposed, remembering the original purpose of the facility he was in. “But it’s impossible to heal when your healing is also the reason the damage persists.”

“At least I don’t really feel it,” said Nyx with an evidently fake cheer. 

“I doubt it will ever regain full functionality,” doctor mumbled mostly to himself, smearing translucent watery gel over the worst parts. “Some nerves and tendons were irrevocably damaged.” 

“Not what I was going for, but thanks for the update.”

Nyx looked at his disfigured limb once more, curled and uncurled his fist weakly then turned away from it accidently meeting eyes with commander Drautos. He seemed to be watching the procedures with an intent focus from his chair in the middle of the room. 

Nyx schooled his expression into something sufficiently defiant. Something that said: yes, I’m a soldier trained for close range combat with two dagger-sized weapons and I basically lost one arm, but I’ll still kick your ass shall the need arise. But Drautos wasn’t looking at him with judgment or pity. It was hard to understand _how_ he was looking, actually. With a heavy blank stare. It was his fault, Nyx suddenly remembered. General Glauca’s sword pressed his hand down to the ground and then there was fire. 

Acknowledgement. That was the expression. Titus Drautos looked at him acknowledging his own input to the outcome but clearly without any intention to apologize. 

What an asshole. 

Nyx huffed an exasperated breath and reclined on his cot intending to get more shut-eye, after doc finished bandaging him. 

The sleep evaded Nyx. He was tired despite how little activity he actually managed, but it was the annoying kind of sluggishness that weighted you down but wasn’t sleepiness per se. 

His wounds throbbed painfully, probably disturbed by the bandaging. Or maybe it was just their gruesome image presented to him in all its revolting clearness that provoked the pain to come back. 

Nyx was mentally adjusting to the reality of his impaired left arm. He would have to account for it in the fight. It won’t take any direct hits but as long as he could hold one of his knives, and he already successfully tried that, it was doable. It would take time, a lot of time, but it was better than nothing. Better than that guy, lady Luna’s brother, with his arm burnt to actual cinders. 

Nyx tried to figure out ways how he could compensate for his incapacity but really he tried not to think how much it hurt now. Because it did, a lot. 

The pain was slowly but steadily rising up inside him. It was far from what he experienced during the operation but much more than simple soreness. He clenched his teeth and regulated his breathing but it was not helping much. A quick glance to his IV stand proved his suspicion that the bag with a slightly blue-tinged solution he came to recognize as a painkiller of some sort was long empty. 

Maybe he wasn't supposed to get more. After what happened to Libertus he was all too aware of the prolonged usage of strong painkillers. They were hard to quit. 

It was going to suck big time but he could probably endure it. Still he had to update commander on his condition. There were many reasons why Nyx would rather not, but some things were ingrained in his very bones by the endless drills. One specific theme was coming up a lot. If you are sustaining injury and feel above average pain you have to inform about it so not to compromise the mission or your comrades so they can consider your state in the course of their actions. It's not a thing to be proud about if someone thinks you will cover for them and you can't. 

He wasn’t sure about their status at the moment but his previous decision to just consider himself safe and all those years of training made Nyx say out loud. 

"So it hurts a lot and is getting progressively worse for the last hour or so. Do I get more of the blue stuff or useless breathing practices it is?" 

“Oh sure! I’m sorry, I should have replaced it after rebandaging,” said the doctor. Which was kind of unprofessional but at least he recognized that. Nyx figured the guy usually relied on nurses and assistants for these kinds of things. 

“Oh damn,” said the doctor suddenly very ineloquent and a little panicked after digging around in his medical cabinet by the far wall. “I think we used up all the supply of potent anesthetics we have here.”

Commander Drautos was frowning and rising from his chair when doctor, little greenish in his terror, jerked up his hands like he actually though he was about to be murdered. Nyx supposed he wasn’t but it was hard to give any predictions about commander Drautos at that point. 

“I… I think we have more left in the basement!” doc cried out, “Yes. We have, I’m sure of it. In the cold storage. Just hold on, I’ll be back in a blink of an eye!” 

He almost ran to the exit but slowed down and turned back as if waiting to be restricted. 

“Well go on with it,” commander Drautos snapped and the man was gone in a heartbeat. 

Nyx smirked despite his state. He remembered his shaky knees the first days, okay weeks, he was addressed in that tone. He was pretty much immune to it now. 

He never though he would live to see the day when commander Drautos was not cutting a very imposing figure. But he really wasn’t. The man looked bone tired with his bloodshot eyes, he limped when he went to pour himself a glass of water and sat back down with a silent sigh. His shirt was unfairly mesh-free unlike the one Nyx got, it was actually a nice cut even if not exactly fitting, but it still looked incredibly plain. There were no medals, no chains, no Lucian ornaments. There were deep wrinkles. Nyx couldn’t wrap his head around it. 

“How long since you actually slept?” Nyx wondered aloud. 

Drautos did not dignify him with a response, if a twitch of a brow was not considered for a response. 

“Just sayin’.” 

“I have spent much longer periods of time without sleep.”

“Yeah, me too. When there was an actual need. Whatever, you can go straight to glucose IVs.”

Drautos ignored him once again but after a moment he got up and went to the medical cabinet with a purposeful stride. 

Nyx shook his head in disbelief. 

Something changed the moment Drautos opened the cabinet. He stiffened and frowned peering down the drawer. 

Nyx understood the moment later. 

“There IS some blue stuff there, isn’t it?” he asked, getting up and jerking the useless needle out of his good arm. 

“Full of it. We have to leave.” 

And then they heard it. Distant but approaching noise. Like a squad of metallic troops climbing up the stairs in a hurry. 

“That fucker!” Nyx cursed a little bit impressed with doc’s cunningness. 

Commander Drautos was frowning and looking around. It was his battle strategic face and despite himself Nyx realized that he was waiting for an order. 

“We can’t leave without supplies, your condition may get worse. I can hold them but you’ll take too long to gather anything,” commander said calmly. “You hold them, I can make it quicker.” 

Nyx felt adrenaline pumping in him. The pain was not forgotten but ignored. He was looking forward to pouring some of his frustration out on the tinheads. 

“Can you even walk?” commander asked belatedly. 

“Not really,” Nyx admitted, leaning on the wall for the support. He raised his right hand with a kukri held tight in it and smirked. “But I can warp.” 

Nyx turned away not waiting for any reaction and shuffled into the hall apparently leading to the stairs, almost the same time as MTs poured out of the entrance on the far side of it. 

Not wasting any time Nyx threw the knife with his right hand and landed heavily on the first robot in the line, kicking the other in the shin and slicing through it’s neck as it staggered down. The next moment he warped back to his starting position and took half a second to gauge his state. He felt fine enough. Nice. 

Next couple of minutes was a blur. Nyx warped this way and that, always materializing over the machines using the gravity to crush them down by his whole weight to compensate for the inability to deliver a solid punch. He sliced and punctured their armor in efficient practiced manner, getting showered with purple sparks and blackish smoke busting out of mangled twitching forms. Some of the MTs were armed by pairs of heavy swords, others mostly wielded axes. Both types were great for Nyx, because the narrow corridor half-barricaded with the broken war dolls left very little space for a decent swing. It was hard to keep his balance though, as the floor got covered in their parts and occasionally grabby metal hands. 

He was tiring fast and the machines weren’t but Nyx felt wary of using actual magic besides warping. He wouldn’t be much of a fighter if he burns himself alive. 

But the MTs just kept on coming; the three new guys arrived with the machineguns. Something he almost missed before they started shooting uncaring of their own forces on the line of fire. The fact he was in the middle of a skirmish with two other robots was the only thing that saved him from the bullet rain. Nyx dropped to the ground and rolled, throwing his knife just behind the neat line of gunmen. If they were actual humans, operating autonomously, he would have been long dead. But they stayed there in an artificially flawless formation just long enough for him to warp there and slice through all their necks in one powerful strike, echoed with a sharp pain in his gut. 

Nyx pressed his left arm to his stomach gasping for a moment but the breather was over with another batch of MTs arriving in the hall from the stairs, reinforced by those he failed to put out for good, rebuilding up from the ground behind him. 

Nyx used his left arm to dodge tangent blows with his kukri and it was working somehow until he was crushed between the two hulking forms, holding back an axe with a knife in his right. The swing from his left was not indirect by any means, it was a straight hit that could probably slash him in half. Unable to duck or warp away Nyx threw his left arm in defense and screamed when the blow knocked the knife out of it. The robot straightened up in its jerky mechanic way to make another swing. Nyx was surrounded with MTs at this point; his right arm still busy blocking the unrelentingly pressing weapon, the left one useless agonizing lash hanging down his side. Even if it was in working condition he couldn’t spare a second to grab his knife from the ground. The sword went down. Situation was shit. 

At the very last moment Nyx did the only thing he could, he kicked the knife on the ground sending it flying to the clear side of the corridor, bouncing from the wall and getting behind the corner, where the bathroom was located. Nyx warped before the movement stopped, crashing into the bathroom doors and almost feeling the blade of that sword piercing him. Or maybe it was just his aggravated wounds. He didn’t care anymore if he were to die in this hall he wasn’t doing it alone.  
“Try this,” he snarled and stepped behind the corner lifting his right arm. He was going for the circle lighting flare, his most powerful attack. But what he got instead was an actual lightning bolt, like those he shot at general Glauca during their fight. 

He still had those! Moreover, he wasn’t feeling any need to gather his focus again, how he usually did after using a powerful magic. His left arm was pleasantly fire free, even though it was hurting like hell. And there was a smoking scorched gap in the ranks in front him. Sweet.

Nyx raised his hand again and sent a bolt after bolt until he annihilated the rest of the troops and there were no more enemies in the hall, only a strong tang of melted iron. 

It was a very satisfying feeling somehow dumped by the reality fading around him. 

Nyx didn’t realize that he was falling until the strong arm hustled him back upright. 

“And I was just about to say you did a good job,” commander Drautos said disapprovingly. 

Nyx left him without an answer because he was barely clinging to his consciousness. 

In fact the next thing he realized was that they were in some fancy car driving out of an underground parking and there must have been a chunk of time he lost. The lightnings were great but he really couldn’t spare the energy they required. 

It took Nyx quite some time to get it together until he figured were they were going. Well they were going to the wall, to the west gate to be specific. But to go with a highway in a flashy car was not the best idea for someone being pursued. Were they pursued? He couldn’t tell. 

“We won’t get through the gate in this car.”

“No. But we need to get closer to the gate to figure out how to get outside and there is no reason why we should do it in a bad car.” 

Nyx leveled him with a stare. He actually always knew that commander was fond of nice cars but to find out that it applied even after everything felt strange. Like there were many parts he recognized in a person that was supposed to be another person.

“I know the way to get out,” Nyx said instead, breathing steadily in useless attempts to regulate his pain, it started muddling his thoughts again. “There is a collector station to the south from the west gate, the sewers start quite far. We can get in there in sector F at the water treatment plant.”

“How do you know this?” 

Nyx paused for a second but really there was no reason to hold the information secret for any longer. 

“It was a way for some unregistered refugees to came into Insomnia. Or to leave, if they wanted to visit a family outside without the permits drag.”

“So that’s were it was. I've always wondered.”  
They were getting to the destination faster than Nyx anticipated and he couldn’t tell if it was a great car after all or if he was loosing time again. The roads were much clearer from the debris he noticed that much, the works were still in process done by both citizens of Insomnia and magitek troops. They bypassed those streets very fast. 

There was far less ruination in the outer districts at least. 

Nyx jolted back to consciousness when the car stopped. It was the place. 

He had to lead from there on and it quickly became apparent that he wasn’t really able to walk on his own. They had to figure out the logistics and it ended up with Nyx having a bag of their supplies thrown over his shoulder getting a back ride from Drautos who wasn’t that steady himself. The weirdness of this arrangement was something both of them were intent to ignore. 

They stumbled into the huge open pipe through the entrance that appeared to be blocked with crisscrossed metal bars but was actually a grate on hinges if you knew which way to pull. 

Nyx has known about the place from Libertus. They met some people here once or twice and helped a few others to leave. But he never actually stepped that far so he could recognize the way in the maze of the tunnels. They had to just go forward and hope for the best. 

“You really didn’t know about this place?” Nyx asked mainly to stay alert. The tunnel was getting smaller and darker and it was easy to blackout without even noticing. 

He wasn’t really expecting an answer. Drautos was breathing heavily and he had to pause to hoist Nyx back up every couple of minutes, shaking the pained grunts out of him. 

“I was aware… that there is a way, but I wasn’t looking for it very hard.”

Drautos seemed to have to stop at that. He put Nyx back down with as much caution as he could probably master. It wasn’t much. Nyx all but stumbled back on his feet, shaking but unwilling to fall down into the almost ankle level deep grimy water on the bottom of the tunnel. He was pretty sure the infection was granted him then even if he somehow avoided it until now.

After a short break and turning on the small lapel flashlight Drautos acquired somewhere they shuffled down the tunnel supporting each other in much the same way they retreated from their final battleground. It was somehow same but very different at once. The people they were in regards to each other. 

Nyx couldn’t estimate the distance they have already covered. A lot, but surely not even close to the wall. 

“If I were to find it, I would have been obligated to close it,” Drautos said and Nyx had to remember what they were talking about. 

“Why is that?”

“It was not safe for the city.”

Nyx walked a couple of steps before the words even registered. Then he stopped. 

“What?”

“To have such a breach in the defense was not safe.”

“What the hell are you even talking about?” Nyx asked with some edge to his voice. 

“My duty to defend…”

“Just stop!” Nyx couldn’t fathom which one of them was crazy. He recoiled away from the man even though he was barely standing. “Do I need to remind you that Insomnia lies in ruins? That you are a traitor who works for Niflheim!” 

“It doesn’t change the fact that I was protecting the city as a captain of Kingsglaive.”

“Yes, it fucking does. You can’t be both protecting it and destroying it.”

“Well, I was.”

“I don’t get it! I don’t get it and you said you would explain. Do it now or I…” Nyx wasn’t able to finish his threat or even figure out what he can threaten with, when there were sudden bright lights from both ends of the corridor.

“Who’s there?” demanded the stern voice from beyond the blinding light Nyx was shielding his eyes from. “Who are you and what are you doing here?”

For a second Nyx thought it was the end but magitek troops were prone to shoot without asking questions first.

“That’s… that’s Nyx Ulric!” 

“Nyx Ulric?”

“He is injured.”

“From TV!”

“Damn, you are right!”

The beams of flashlights and muzzles of the guns were instantly pointed down and the small crowd of exited clearly Lucian people came closer. The stocky man in the front cast a suspicious look toward commander Drautos seeing their somewhat hostile stances. Maybe he even heard a part of their argument. 

“Are you Nyx Ulric, sir?”

“Yes,” Nyx said, a bit weirded out by the sir part.

The next thing he knew, Nyx was relieved of his bag, helped to stand and there were armed people between him and Drautos, pointing the guns on him. 

“Is he an enemy, sir?” asked the leader of the group. 

Nyx didn’t know the answer to that question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, every comment and kudos is a joy! There is a [tag](http://vivicogitator.tumblr.com/tagged/for-hearth-and-home) on my tmblr dedicated to this fic and questions about it, come say hi anytime!


	7. Chapter 7

General Glauca was definitely an enemy. Titus Drautos wasn’t. Nyx was finally confronted with the reality of them being the same person and expected to make a decision on that account.

Their previous argument didn’t help. It seemed to be either a very elaborate strategy to confuse him or the man was batshit crazy. Either way he was dangerous and unpredictable. Nyx had to consider it as not just his own ethical dilemma but also a threat to his mission to help the young king.

They have survived, almost made it out of the city but what’s next? They couldn’t come together, whatever his motives and plans were, Nyx couldn’t lead the murderer of King Regis to his son. It wasn’t like he could easily leave him behind or win in a fight after they made it past the wall either.

It wasn’t something Nyx wanted to happen but for once the position he found himself in was unbelievably advantageous.

Nyx surveyed their setting.

It was a small corridor and there was a dozen of Lucians with guns. Some obvious newbies but a couple looked sure and confident with their weapon the way only professionals could be. Maybe they were royal guards but since they haven’t recognized them the police or some private force was more likely. Didn’t really matter, they were people comfortable with guns and pointing them at someone, probably comfortable with pulling a trigger too. Even if general Glauca’s armor could be summoned fast enough to cover him from bullets, Nyx knew for a fact that the lightning bolts he still owned could melt the armor away. Maybe not all of it but surely enough to get some bullets through. The man was beyond exhausted and barely standing on his feet, he would be slow. That enormous sword would be totally useless in the confined spaces of the sewers. He could still kill many of them but Nyx was pretty sure that general Glauca wouldn’t walk away from this fight.

And he was very much aware of it himself.

Nyx met his somber look and there was perfect understanding there. Both of them knew exactly where this was heading to and how it was going to play out.

And there it was again that acknowledgment in his eyes. He looked at Nyx with unnerving frankness as if accepting full responsibility for his actions but not repenting any of them.

It was a long heavy stare full of statements Nyx could only partly untangle and couldn’t really comprehend.

And the next moment it was gone. Drautos sighed and closed his bloodshot eyes not in surrender but in extreme weariness. He wasn’t going to fight.

“Sir?” one of the armed men prompted Nyx.

Whatever he could do, he could not command a slaughter on a man waiting for it. Maybe even deserving it. Remembering king Regis Nyx couldn’t claim the same about Titus Drautos. Maybe that was a difference between them.

“No,” Nyx said addressing no one in particular. He wasn’t a friend but maybe for a short while at least long enough to understand… “He is an ally.”

The walk through the corridors was uneventful though after a dozen of different turns Nyx had to admit that without the guidance they would have been long lost. In fact he wondered how these guys felt so confident after what couldn’t be more than a couple of days in here. He supposed there was a system of signs after all but he was in no condition to try and figure it out. For him it was just a similar tunnel after tunnel either annoyingly linear or confusingly branching.

At that point he was in so much pain he stopped thinking even about Drautos somewhere behind the two guys helping Nyx to walk, basically dragging him along.

He wasn’t thinking about anything at all, just watched reflection of the lapel lighters bouncing of the same wet walls and listened to the multiple splash noises their group produced. Every once in a while there was a loud but distant echoes of dripping water and radio crackling whenever someone in the group made or received a message.

He wasn’t a good judge of time in his half-lucid state but they must have been walking for at least an hour until they reached some kind of a base. Nyx noticed at least two sets of guards they passed to get inside it. But really it was just a row of a few spacious halls with some large machinery stationed here and there for some unknown probably water-cleaning purposes. There were fluorescent tubes on the walls suddenly bright after the dimness of the tunnels and a soft hum of working mechanisms. A surprising amount of people was rushing in every direction, stacking what looked like food and medicine boxes and blankets and all kinds of other supplies along the walls.

They bypassed a niche with a huge ass map of Insomnia’s utility lines with marks all over it and a tired looking woman giving orders in her walkie-talkie. The maps of that scale were classified. There surely were some police forces working with this rebellion or whatever this was. Also the radios they carried were old outdated things but it made sense with the frequencies, Nyx supposed. Niflheim was operating on the whole different level and they would doubtfully use something so low tech.

There probably were some air vents too because despite the fact that they surely were deeper underground the air was much easier to breath and lost the low level stench of ditch water from the tunnels Nyx wasn’t even noticing until it was gone.

Eventually they got settled in a small room with a few empty cots that maybe have been an office at some point, or maybe just a glorified closet since there still were heaps of stuff in the corners. Underground and without windows any room kind of looked like a storage space.

“We are arranging an infirmary here, it’s not much but you can rest until our captain comes back. He already knows about you but there are troubles by the gate, he should be back by nightfall,” said the leader of the group, while Nyx was carefully put down on one of the cots.

Drautos was helped to the neighboring one and Nyx bit his tongue on why he would prefer any other possible arrangement.

“Our only medic is with cap, I’m afraid.”

“It’s fine, I got patched up already. Just really need those IVs from the bag.”

It took some time to set things up but they ended with tubes in their arms, wishes to get well and no supervision whatsoever.

Both of them starred at the webbing of cracks on the low celling in silence too filled with stifled tired breaths to be actually tense. Nyx looked to the side and then up again and made a resolute decision to postpone the much-needed talk once more. His guts were pulsing painfully and he was concerned he might puke them out if he tried to talk.

He had half a thought about how maybe this prolonged lack of resolution tricked him into thinking that it’s normal for them to just be in one room without killing each other, to be attached to the same IV stand. It was not normal and it worried Nyx that he had to remind himself about it. But the chemicals flooding his blood stream blurred this line of thought before he could think it through or make any decision concerning it.

The next time Nyx woke up, there were two guys from the tunnels with a tray of food, bottles of water and news about their captain arriving soon.

Commander Drautos silently sleeping on his cot opened his eyes the moment they were out of the door and Nyx felt aggravated even by such a small act of deception. The fact that Drautos wasn’t even trying to hide it from him irrationally pissed him off.

“Give me one reason, why I shouldn’t call them back,” Nyx said in a very flat voice.

“You have already found one,” Drautos answered after a short pause and for once, continued without additional prodding. “I’m here now, so you have found at least one reason for me to be. I don’t have a clue what that is.”

“Life for life,” Nyx said without elaborating.

Let him think it was about finding him a medic or figuring out the magic sharing for the healing. Nyx honestly couldn’t make himself be grateful for those hellish hours. He actually meant that moment with a hand around his throat. The more he thought about it the more it felt like that time in the tunnels. To spare someone’s life when you are holding it completely in your hand with every reason to end it. And to receive the exact same thing in return. That created a certain bond or at least got them even.

“What do you want to know?”

Everything. He wanted to know everything. But Nyx understood that to get concrete answers he had to provide the questions. And boy he had questions.

“Why are you here?” Nyx asked.

It wasn’t as specific as it probably should have been but that question bothered him the most. And sure enough, Drautos got his meaning straightaway.

“I wasn’t working with the Empire for them to win. I wanted to end this war and to get freedom for the lands beyond the wall. The war is done and they refused it, so there is no point in going back.”

“Oh sure,” Nyx drawled unimpressed. He could maybe eat that before but he was mulling over all this for days now, and he could easily pinpoint the problems with that statement. “But you had plenty of possibilities to leave before broadcast said anything about the lands.”

All the beeping horn snapping and the fact that he did leave and then came back, it just didn’t add up.

“Yes. And you would have died. That doctor would be leaving or selling you out the second after I left.”

Nyx had all the witty quips about how it still went that exact way. But he agreed that treacherous doc had more balls than any of them gave him credit for and Nyx wouldn’t have made it alone. That led him to another question that was plaguing him for the major part of his waking hours these few days.

“So why did you save me? What are you gaining by it?”

“It’s really more of a what am I loosing otherwise.”

“Don’t…” Nyx snapped but Drautos sent him an impatient glance and Nyx subsided and muttered: “Continue.”

“It’s not about you,” Drautos deadpanned and Nyx felt weirdly offended and relieved he didn’t get to finish his indignant retort before it, “Well, not really about you. It was a complex situation.”

He was silent for a long moment either collecting his thoughts, composing believable lies or just done with answering altogether.

Nyx stared at the door with his best blank face trying to take control of his anger, failing and wishing he could use the trick with fire in a hand. It was a technique he invented for himself to burn through any intense emotion, practice control and concentration. He was somehow sure it was a bad idea to call for magic now, when he was still strangely overpowered and could burn the place to ashes.

However, it seemed like commander Drautos intended to continue.

“You remember how it started. I’m not becoming an image used against those I’m helping. You could have killed me back then. Maybe I’m the one who should be asking why you didn’t. Anyways. It went down from there. I’m not sure you will believe why your survival was important for me, but it was.”

“Try me,” Nyx said. And couldn’t help but add: “It’s barely enough fingers in one hand to count how many times already you’ve tried to kill me.”

Oh how he hated to continue it silently: there were not enough on both his hands to count how many times he was saved.

“There were objectives, you were in the way. You know how it works, Nyx.”

“So why was my survival all that important? Since when?”

“It was always important.”

“If you…”

“All of you. Not just yours, the Glaive.”

“You have destroyed the Glaive!” suddenly Nyx was screaming. He stood up, uncaring for the swaying world, just to get a little bit away form the man. “Half of them killed the other half! You had a fucking robot army and you still used them, still made Glaives into traitors!”

“It was never meant to go that way!” Drautos snarled back, showing emotion for the first time. Expression dark and distant, like when they were fighting. “You were all sent out of the city…”

“To leave it defenseless!”

“To spare you!”

“It was a trap.”

“Yes. But its purpose was to confine, not to annihilate. I was wrong about Luche, I did not recognize his viciousness.”

Nyx grabbed his hair with his good hand, thoughts entirely scrambled.

“Tell me how it is. Just tell me all of it,” he said very low.

“There was a plan and for me to go on with it Kingsglaive had to be out of Insomnia. You were meant to get there and get captured. Yes, there was an order to dispose of those too strong or too stupid to give up. I was half-sure you would be one of those. But I hoped you wouldn’t. After the end of the war I was going to talk with all of you and you know same as me, they wouldn’t be too opposed to finally get home. With peace. It was the sole purpose of the Glaive. For hearth and home.”

“You don’t get to say those words.”

“They were my words. I have the only right.”

That got Nyx to deflate and stumble back to his cot.

“I was pretty sure you won’t survive it,” Drautos continued. “You were certainly not supposed to come back with lady Lunafreya of all people. But you were alive. And then I found out what happened. And just when I tried to arrange you staying alive, Luche and Libertus got involved again and you just had to put that fucking ring on.”

Nyx felt his shackles rising in reminder about Libertus but he was thrown for a second to hear commander swearing, it was too rare of an occasion. Drautos was getting agitated once again.

“You were on my way and I was going to remove you from it. But I left you there, when I knocked you down, didn’t I? I left you and you should have stayed down. But you never learn, do you?”

“I was taught that way,” Nyx said going for venomous but landing closer to hurt.

Drautos scowled at him.

“There were so many times you could’ve, should’ve died that night. But you didn’t. Then you helped me,” he explained slowly, deliberately. “I know it wasn’t for my sake but I thought I was dying and I was thankful that despite my actions the Glaive persevered in you.”

Nyx bristled at it. If that was some misguided guilt he got to cash in for all the dead comrades he didn’t want it.

“By the time I figured that I’m surviving and you are not, it was an unacceptable outcome.”

“So what, you’ve saved me because you didn’t allow me to die and I was going to anyway?”

“You’ve asked for answers, I don’t care if they please you or not.”

So basically yes. That was the most arrogant shit Nyx have ever heard and it felt unfairly familiar, exactly like something commander would actually say.

Nyx shook his head and went for a water bottle. There were so many questions he still had to ask.

The thing was, Nyx was a bad judge of a character. He couldn’t really tell when someone was lying and he knew about it. He read fucking books about it. He watched intently and tried to remember every possible sign any clue and there was nothing.

“When did it happen? How many years ago you defected?” Nyx asked, pretty sure it was that. Years.

“Twenty-one.”

Whatever Nyx was expecting, it wasn’t that. He almost dropped his half-full bottle.

“What? But it can’t be! That’s… impossible. Kingsglaive wasn’t even established back then.”

“Yes. So?”

Nyx starred at the man in total incomprehension.

“But? But how can…? You shaped the Glaive to be the strongest weapon Lucis had against Niflheim. Why?”

“It was my duty as the captain of Kingsglaive.”

“But you planned all the battles against us? All those times we got decimated?”

“Not all, but yes. As general Glauca, I had responsibilities.”

“You are both of them. The same fucking person.”

“I…” Drautos faltered, as if he was about to object. “I suppose.”

Nyx really wanted to get up and pace the room again but he was too shaken to try something requiring that much coordination.

The first time he thought commander might be crazy he didn’t really mean it. But now. If he was telling the truth, and for all things divine Nyx couldn’t come up with a single reason why would he lie and make things less believable, the man was a lunatic. He sat there clam and composed and saw no problem with being two separate mutually excluding people.

Twenty-one years of lies. Kingsglaive designed by a madman who formed and shaped everything Nyx believed in.

“So you were what, back then…” Nyx trailed off, too stunned to manage a question.

“Twenty-four. A Crown’s guard.”

This was… well, not changing _everything_ , but changing perception Nyx had of the situation, too much to even start understanding it again. That was younger than him now.

“But why?”

“We are back to it again... Fine. I was young and twice betrayed by Lucis Caelum dynasty. Just lost someone important. The time has come to finally see there was nothing but death and defeat on the side of Lucis. They could have ended the war decades ago if not for the pride of the king.”

“So it’s better to serve the emperor?”

“It’s better to serve your purpose. Mine has never changed. Only the means.”

Nyx looked away. There was a brutal and efficient logic to it.

“I’m not two people,” Drautos continued somehow thoughtful, like it was the first time he considered his odd dichotomy. “But they are independent functions and I’ve learned to separate my thoughts for each. It never would have worked any other way for so long. I guess… I’m neither. My goals are neither and I’m what needs to be to reach them.”

Well maybe not conventionally mad, Nyx pondered, but there was also nothing normal with that kind of thinking. He wasn’t exactly well adjusted himself but that was just too far.

Nyx took a pause to gather up his thoughts, but they were just a messy tangle of facts and emotions and suspicions. He kind of believed the gist of what was said because it was too stupid to be purely made up.

It changed nothing, however. Knowing some of the reasons and circumstances did not excuse any of the actions. Especially since commander Drautos was so insistent on not being the least bit remorseful about them.

They ate in silence.

“So what’s next?” Nyx asked because their heart-to-heart time was running out fast.

“We get beyond the wall.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Then that’s not what you should have asked.”

Nyx looked at him with narrowed eyes but was comforted by the knowledge that Drautos apparently was vexed enough to get snappish.

“What are your plans for _after_ getting beyond the wall?”

“Well, we obviously head north by the beltway. From there it depends on how closed off the coast is.”

Nyx blinked in confusion.

“Wait, what? We? North?”

“To Galahd.”

“Galahd?!”

“You meant to return there,” Drautos said bordering on irritated.

Nyx covered his eyes with a hand for a second to get his composure back. When he talked it was slow and deliberate as if he was talking to a particularly senseless child and he cared not if that tone would rouse the man’s ire.

“I was planning to go back because I was no longer needed here. Thanks to you it’s all mute point now. I have my new goals and you can bet I’m not letting you get anywhere near them.”

“And by those you mean…”

Nyx hesitated for a moment but it was so obvious, there was no point in pretending it to be a secret.

“Protecting lady Lunafreya and king Noctis.”

“Of course,” Drautos asserted slowly and looked to the side, seemingly deep in thought. He nodded slightly to himself and looked back up with clearly contemplating expression.

Nyx pointed a finger at him.

“No.”

Commander Drautos seemed completely unfazed by it. So Nyx repeated with more intent.

"No!"

That got him an exasperated eye roll.

“Do you know where the prince is?”

“Altissia, or close to it,” Nyx wasn’t sure how much time has passed and quite honest, wasn’t sure how exactly people were getting to Altissia in the first place, but he supposed that if the journey was well, Noctis was close to reaching his destination.

“You won’t make it there by yourself.”

“Doesn’t mean I have to go with you.”

“What do you think prince Noctis will be doing there?”

“King Noctis,” Nyx corrected for lack of anything else to say. He wasn’t sure if that arranged marriage was still a thing.

“As a _king_ , he surely wants to reclaim his throne. How would he go about it?”

“Well…” Nyx scowled.

“And what are his chances?”

“I don’t know, okay! I’ll find out when I get there. It’s not like I have put a lot of thought in all of that.”

“I did.”

“It’s in your best interests to stop reminding me of that.”

He expected another eye roll or something of that kind, to be stirred into almost familiar banter territory and was caught off balance with a suddenly serious look.

“Nyx. I’m not playing games with you. There isn’t much choice and you’ve made yours already for whatever reason. I’m trying to explain why it was a right one.”

Taken aback for a moment Nyx leaned on the headboard of his cot, fighting the desire to cross his arms defensively. He wasn’t sure if implications that he already made his choice were once again referring to the recent corridor situation or if it was somehow obvious what he decided earlier. The truth of it was unsettling in any case.

“You must understand that I purposefully let the prince leave. I knew when and where he was going and how small his entourage was,” Drautos fell silent and Nyx debated if he could believe that. The facts were in favor of that but he couldn’t really trust in the goodness of heart as a motive here. It must have been obvious, because commander elaborated with some strain. “Noctis… is a good boy. I have no reason to wish him harm except that he is Lucis Caelum but being the part of that family brought him more harm than good so it’s not something I would want to punish him for.”

Nyx had many things to say about people undeserving any punishment who got killed because it apparently suited general Glauca’s plans but he restrained himself to just one sharp look.

“My personal sympathies aside, however,” Drautos continued with a slight nod as if accepting his unspoken arguments. “It was also a deliberate choice, for if something went wrong and I couldn’t side with Niflheim anymore. Noctis alone is not a threat to anyone but he is a banner, the cause other forces could unite for, actually or nominally. I have certain agreements which can start that union.”

“Right. How exactly does that align with what you said about empire being unstoppable and “surely” giving our lands back?” Nyx snapped.

“There is a reason why it was a contingency plan not a first choice scenario. Niflheim is more advanced than you could fathom. I know it firsthand. But with this knowledge and all the factions interested in its fall… it is possible.”

“The king is probably negotiating for that alliance in Altissia right now.”

He wasn't as well versed in the foreign politics but he wasn't stupid either, it was quite apparent who those allies may be.

“You can not bargain from a position of weakness. Only beg. The First Secretary won't ever reply to the plea if there is no benefit for her people in it. They have already fought against the empire once prompted by Lucis and they have lost. Noctis has nothing to offer. I have a previous agreement they might at least consider. You are right thinking that Accordo is the most promising ally but they also would be the hardest to persuade. There are other less obvious ones I’ve talked to.”

“You make it sound like you were always planning to fight against Niflheim in the end,” Nyx said because it bothered him the most. It went against that conviction Drautos expressed again and again about the superiority of empire’s forces.

“There is no use for a general in a time of peace. And no better figure to throw to the angry crowd than a monstrous general Glauca,” Drautos said with weak smirk. “Who also knows too much and was a traitor all along. I was a disposable figure from the start and never forgot about it. I was securing my position for either victory or defeat and those were not much different really. That’s not the point. I was ready for what would come after the plan was done, but I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t be eliminated in its process. There is a man you probably know little about, chancellor Izunia, who surely knew about each step I took or could have taken.”

Nyx gave no answer to that not sure if he was meant to. He knew the chancellor’s name, that he was the one to bring a treaty proposal and had some questionable fashion choices on the banquet.

“But I’m sure none of us could think about this particular development,” Drautos continued thoughtfully and Nyx wasn’t sure if that meant him or this underground base or both. “It’s not ideal but not hopeless either. So answering you previous question, now we head south to the Golden Quay to board a boat to Altissia.”

“He is not going to listen to a man who killed his father.”

“Then he will remain a king without a kingdom.”

Nyx sighed. Could he believe what was said? Did it even matter what he believed?

“Plans, double plans, how does any of this prove your point? Your allegiances are not with the empire, fine. It’s just a huge pile of lies anyways, for all the sides.”

“I have no reason to lie to you.”

Nyx felt a bitter mockery of a smile stretch his lips.

“You had no reason to betray us either, if you were to ask me a week ago.”

Drautos moved forward with a stormy look in his eyes but then the door to their room flew open.

“Ulrik you lucky son of a bitch!” exclaimed the man stepping inside and it took Nyx a couple of seconds to actually recognize him as Petra Fortis, his unlikely acquaintance from the Crown’s guard. He sure the man died giving him and lady Lunafreya a chance to escape and he apparently didn’t. Also he seamed to have a light brown hair and Nyx was so used to seeing him in his helmet it somehow seemed bizarre.

He really didn’t get a chance to answer, because Petra instantly recognized commander Drautos and squared his shoulders standing at attention.

“Captain! You’re alive, sir!”

Drautos looked at Nyx not quite smug but with expression clearly convening his meaning. Their power dynamics changed back. Petra obviously was the man in charge of these people and he all but saluted Drautos, clearly seeing him as his superior. If Nyx should try to stir any disturbance it was a question now who’s word would weight more to him.

So it really wasn’t a choice after all. Nyx resigned to figuring them out later.

He smiled to Petra instead, he really was inexplicably glad to see the man alive.

“How the hell you walked away from that fight?”

“Ha, just a few brats, could do nothing without their magic.”

For the next hour or so Petra explained how exactly this rebellion thing emerged from a volunteer brigade he arranged for rescuing survivors from under the wreckage. With an addition of an infrastructure engineer who suggested them to get underground and all the others who kept on joining and helping any way possible.

Nothing could unite the people of this city more than outsiders, Nyx though with exasperation and something bordering on fondness.

“I’ll personally guide you to the outside,” Petra said resolutely, after finding out they had to leave as soon as possible. “We actually have a vehicle you can use there. It was planned for one family to get out but there were complications. They won’t need it anymore.”

Nyx looked to the side debating if he could take a car that could potentially save some other more lucky family. But he really didn’t get to choose as commander Drautos simply nodded and went on asking about situation outside and fuel and money.

Situation wasn’t really steady with many Niflheim troops moving around, making block posts on every corner. There was a full tank of fuel, more than enough to get them to the Golden Quay but the car was supposedly an old rusty bucket. And there was no money to give them, since all banks were under provisional government’s control and any significant withdrawal from account was labeled a suspicious behavior and carefully investigated.

They decided on moving out at once, wary of someone noticing the car hidden on the outskirts of abandoned construction sites that were supposed to be Insomnia suburbs long time ago.

It became quickly apparent that Nyx wouldn’t make a long walk by himself. Just a few minutes after they have left the base he had to keep his hand on the slimy wall of a tunnel for support even though he wasn’t carrying any of their supplies.

“You are seriously wounded,” Petra said, noticing the way Nyx swayed on his feet.

"I can carry him," Drautos suggested, sounding more like he informed them about the undisputable decision he had made.

"But you are also injured, sir, I can't allow with your rank..."

"I carried him here."

"I can walk" Nyx grumbled. After receiving two doubtful looks he added, "with assistance."

"No shame Ulric. You are one tough bastard. We all saw that video of you kicking Glauca's ass."

Nyx smirked, pointedly not looking anywhere in direction of the commander.

"Yeah, so I can walk."

He almost yelped when after short scrutinizing onceover Petra lifted him up with no evident strain.

"You are surprisingly scrawny without that flashy uniform."

There was nothing Nyx wished for more than to kick the man in his ribs but he doubted his wounds would appreciate the fall. He really overdid it in that fight with the MTs.

"There is literally no need to carry me."

"No trouble at all!"

"I'm serious though. I can walk."

"You will slow us down," Drautos snapped and Nyx huffed in annoyance but fell silent.

The really important issues were ahead, considering that travel to Altissia. He still wasn’t sure he should be going with Drautos but he physically couldn’t do it himself and it was both late and impossible to ask Petra to go or give him some of his people.

If they were really doing it together, Nyx could only hope that it would be a very short journey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, comments and kudos are my joy! There is a [tag](http://vivicogitator.tumblr.com/tagged/for-hearth-and-home) on my tmblr dedicated to this fic and questions about it, come say hi anytime!


	8. Chapter 8

They walked and walked and walked. At first Petra was answering questions Drautos had about their operations but he had to stop to keep his breath and continue in a brisk pace they tried to maintain. 

Eventually he also had to agree to carry Nyx on his back, because even such a strong person as Petra couldn't carry a full-grown man bridal style for hours. It wasn’t a huge improvement for his dignity but Nyx had to suck it up, he was already aching even in that position, with his wounded stomach pushed against the stiff armor vest and his left arm not really cooperating. 

After something like two hours they stopped to drink some water and rest on a mostly dry section of the floor. Petra wiped off the sweat of his forehead and consulted with a bulky wrist navigator, prompting Nyx to realize that his own watch got destroyed when his left hand caught on fire. When it caught on fire for the _first_ time. 

"How long is it, to the wall?" Nyx asked, trying to estimate their position and having not a faintest idea. 

"We have passed it half an hour or so ago. There is an exit but it's all but useless with Nifs controlling the bridge. Also there are patrols. Barely made it back down the last time we tried to come up there." 

"Where are we going then?" Drautos asked, still a bit winded, clearly not fully recovered from his own injuries. 

"If we get a bit deeper, there are tunnels all across the channel. There is even a trolley, so we won't have to walk all the way. It leads to the unfinished water station in what was supposed to be a mainland city. It's actually right behind the block post so we are in luck."

"You sure it's not a trap?" Nyx asked, scowling a bit. It was a bit too convenient for his taste. 

"It is a possibility,” Petra nodded. “But we have smuggled more than a dozen people out in just a few days and with some we had contact later on. But it’s not going to be an open path forever, that much is clear."

Not like they had any other options. So soon they set out once more. 

The tunnels were widening and getting more elaborate, less of a narrow underground gutter where two people couldn’t walk side by side not bumping shoulders and had to watch out for the low ceilings, more of the modern tunnel system with numerous crossings, steps up and down, pipes and cables, even occasional working light lines. The walls were concrete blocs with once carefully painted sections and neat markings. It was either dry floor now, or knee-high water in the flooded areas, nothing like the stale puddles and mossy old stones in the beginning. 

Nyx figured it made sense, Insomnia’s drainage systems were probably as old as the city itself, he wasn’t sure how old that meant, but his estimate was: pretty fucking old and a couple of centuries give or take. These parts were clearly built fairly recently, maybe a few decades ago, probably just before the magical wall was retracted to shield only Insomnia. These tunnels must have been shiny-new at that time – the umbilical cord from the capital to that unfinished mainland city, meant to last long, work autonomously. It was a bit mindblowing to see these vast unsupervised structures with the direct access to the capital. It _was_ a huge potential danger to the city defenses, no matter how much he loathed agreeing with Drautos about anything at the moment. 

The man in question walked with a blank face a little to the side, but Nyx knew he had to be thinking the same thing.  
If he had known about this earlier, things might have gone differently. There was no telling if it meant better or worse, but differently. 

They were getting deeper underground, at some point the normal staircases gave way to embedded metal ladder rungs in a drop of a twenty or so feet down. 

There was a heated argument whether Nyx could climb on his own or not, and if not, how exactly they were going to manage getting him there and who was supposed to go first. It was bordering on ridiculous so Nyx swiftly ended the debate by throwing his kukri down and warping to the lower level first. He had a moment to collect himself and smooth the wincing grimace just in time before the other two climbed down. 

Drautos glared at him but said nothing, probably expecting Nyx to flip him off in response to a reprimand of any kind. He expected right.

Deeper underground meant more water in the flooded areas. Nyx had to reluctantly appreciate his position when they entered a corridor with murky water reaching mid thigh for Petra. The soles of Nyx’s boots were grazing the surface, but it would have been up to his hips if he were to walk on his own. 

The next corridor was water-free but there were no working lights in it. Good riddance, Nyx thought to himself. Their absence was most notable for the lack of constant blinking that made his head pound. His body was working through his last dose of painkillers way faster than he hoped. 

Their small lapel lights were more than enough to prevent bumping into walls. There was no need for a long distance illumination. Or so he though, before they turned around the corner and there was an abrupt halt. 

"Shit," Petra muttered. He hastily covered his lapel light with a hand and made two steps back. 

"Was it… daemons? Here?" Nyx asked alarmed and not sure if he correctly interpreted the glimpse of the movement in the end of the next gallery. 

"Yeah. We have spotted a few on the lower levels but never on this side of a channel. Wait here,” Petra put him down and peeked back behind the corner, squinting into the darkness with Drautos following suit. 

Nyx remembered that flooded passage they just crossed and suppressed a shudder. He had faced daemons many times, often in disadvantageous position but mostly during the battle. To know there could’ve been something lurking under water, even after they’ve already crossed it gave him the creeps. 

“Seems like a snake with a human head and three globs of darkness,” Petra whispered, crouching back down. “Too many. No way for us to sneak in. We’ll have to wait and hope they go away.”

“That’s doubtful. They are territorial,” Drautos said frowning.

“Don’t think so, sir,” Petra shook his head. “My men and I have walked this path plenty of times for the last couple of days and it’s the first time I see these here. They came recently so they may leave soon.” 

Nyx saw the annoyance clear in commander’s face. Drautos couldn’t really claim any specific knowledge of daemons and their habits if they were not the kind used on a battlefield. He clenched and unclenched his fists clearly missing the weight of weapon in it. His armor came with a sword but yet again he couldn’t call for it if he was insisting on playing the charade till the end. 

For a moment their eyes met, and Nyx had to wonder if he could read the man so clearly now because he knew the truth, or because Drautos wasn’t even trying to be subtle around him anymore. He couldn’t decide which option he liked less. Both made him think that he could’ve noticed the lies earlier if he only looked or listened closely enough. 

“We can fight through them,” Nyx said just to get his mind off that track again. 

Petra gave him a skeptical look but it was Drautos who snorted. 

“With a gun and two knives for two and a half fighters? Not likely.”

“First of all, I’m not giving you my kukri,” Nyx said offended by the suggestion. “And also it was me who successfully fought a squad of MTs yesterday.” 

“Our definition of “success” considerably differs.”

“Um,” said Petra looking at both of them uncertainly. “If we just wait…”

Nyx stumbled on his feet ready to say or do something drastic but was interrupted by Petra.

“Shit Ulric, you are bleeding!” 

True to what the man said, there was a considerable bloodstain on the ridiculous white shirt he was still wearing under the borrowed jacket. It wasn’t dripping with blood or anything, in fact it looked mostly dry, more brown than red, but his wound must have reopened at some point.

“Damn it,” Nyx said, sitting back down. 

He was more annoyed that there was always something in the way when he was about to have a proper shout out with the commander than by complications to his injury. It hurt but then again, everything hurt, he couldn’t clearly discern one ache from the other.

“I would rather check it when we get out of here,” Nyx mussed, prodding gently to see if his intestines were about to spill out. “But it doesn’t seem too bad.”

“Let’s wait,” Petra said again and there were no objections this time. 

Drautos was scowling at nothing in the distance, or at daemons, or at Nyx, or maybe at all the life choices that led him to this corridor. Nyx couldn’t care less. 

They settled on the floor for a long wait in silence, interrupted only by Petra moving to glance behind the corner every so often. 

It may have been his imagination but eventually Nyx thought he could hear the scratching movement of the scales against the corridor walls and some other strange sounds echoing all around. They might have been there all along but now he could think of nothing else but hordes of daemons swarming in the darkness, waiting, tightening the circle around them. He wasn’t truly afraid but there was that unsettling feeling of your own mind working against you. Something he was all too familiar with. 

He couldn't be the only one to feel the pressure of self-imposed inertia, doubled by their sitting literally around the corner from danger. But there was this silent military agreement of never voicing the direness of the situation when everyone was perfectly aware of it. 

It might have been an hour or two or five when Petra sighed and stated the obvious. 

"Still there. And we can't wait forever."

"Is this the only way?" Drautos asked. 

"There are other longer tunnels but I'm only familiar with this one." 

"You do have a map in there," Drautos nodded to the navigator on the men’s wrist. 

"Yes, but it's an old model, sir, only shows fifty feet ahead or so," Petra said apologetically. “We can try to make a way around but it’s going to be trial and error.”

"Or we can fight through," Nyx reminded them. Because over stewing with these two or being carried however much longer, he would gladly take a fight any time. Also to run away from four mere daemons was downright distasteful.  
Drautos gave him a long look.

"We'll take a chance with walking," he said. Of course he did. 

So they walked some more and sure enough not once and not twice ended up in dead-ends, sometimes provided by the actual outline of the tunnels, sometimes by the damages from the elements sustained over the years. 

When they eventually found a way back to the main tunnel, thankfully devoid of more daemons, and boarded a trolley, Nyx figured it had to be past the middle of the night. 

His assessment proved right when they finally surfaced amid the machinery of the unfinished water station, with the skies starting to pale in the east. 

He made it to another sunrise. Nyx wished he could stop waiting for the other shoe to drop and the Old Kings to remember their morbid promises but here he was standing – swaying, wounded but alive. Also tired and very pissed off. 

“C’mon, Ulric. We are almost there,” Petra said, shaking him out of stupor with an awkward pat on the back. 

They spent the whole night wandering underground and it felt even longer still. It was a mixed blessing. Daylight meant the road safe from creatures of the night but it also meant clearer view for the Nif’s patrols no doubt flooding Lucis by now. 

They still had an hour or so for an actual day to start, so after their shabby but sturdy vehicle was located, Nyx had a dubious pleasure of getting his stomach sewed back in.

He insisted on doing it himself but it was quite a fit to accomplish with only one working hand. Apparently not in the mood for discussion, Drautos spilled a generous portion of antiseptic on the wound first, effectively rendering Nyx silent. He was all too busy grinding his teeth through the burn and by the time he could form any words except expletives, commander was halfway done with the stitches. 

“What the hell happened to you?” Petra asked, eyeing the wound with horrified fascination. He had to go back to Insomnia soon, but insisted on guarding them from any stray patrols during the procedure. 

“Delivery of shiny twins,” Nyx smirked. 

“He was shot with two hollow-points,” Drautos explained, cutting the last thread, disinfecting and putting the needle away. “They had to be cut out. He barely survived that.”

“Your concern is truly touching,” Nyx said snidely just to stop looking for emotions behind the flat tone. 

“Are you two…” Petra started but cut himself off. “Well, anyway. Good luck with your mission. Tell the King his capital awaits.”

With a last nod he turned and jogged away. Back to daemon-infested tunnels and enemy-infested city to hold on for however long was humanly possible. 

“What an unfounded trust.”

“Oh shut up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait and unclear future of this piece! Also it's like half of the chapter and truly anticlimactic. But I wanted to have something on Noct's Birthday. ^^"  
> As always, there is a [tag](http://vivicogitator.tumblr.com/tagged/for-hearth-and-home) on my tmblr dedicated to this fic and questions about it, come say hi anytime!


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